Eid Mubarak - Hajj

Ten years ago, I was blessed to go for hajj. Unlike some people who think and prepare for a lifetime before going, my hajj came to me unanticipated. I had found Islam less than five years prior, and I was just out of college without any savings to spend on such a journey. Further, the very concept of hajj was alien - no one in my family had ever traveled out of the country - none of us even had passports - and my non-Muslim family had a very hard time with the whole idea, not understanding its purpose and finding the idea very frightening, potentially dangerous. All they could see was their daughter going off to the middle east with people they didn't know and so they were very worried. But I guess it was meant to be, because somehow everything worked out and I was soon in Saudi Arabia with millions of other pilgrims.



What follows are a few things from my hajj that have stayed with me a decade later.

1. I will never forget the feeling of tranquility and holiness around the Prophet's (saw) mosque and Janatul Baqi in Medina. The desolate, desecrated nature of the graves in Baqi was disconcordant with the holiness that permeated the air and earth in that place. Everyone in our caravan felt very much at home and thoughts of family, jobs, or anything back in North America never had room for entry - it was if a previous life had ended, we had all been reborn, and were living a new life, the real life, finally.

2. I met more Muslims and made more lasting connections on hajj than any other experience. Random Iranian Shia strangers would bestow gifts and kindnesses upon discovering a fellow Shia from another country - even though it was not their country, I often felt like I was being hosted by them, rather than the Saudis; it seemed to me more than it was their place even though they were journeyers like myself. The Saudis I met were excited to see an American, sure I had lots of money to spend that I was holding back on, and if they were Shia, were very cautious about showing any aspect of their belief. The people in my caravan took care of me - I would have been totally lost without their companionship and guidance, as many of them had performed hajj before and always seemed to know where to go and what to do next.

3. Before going for hajj, I had no particular emotional reaction to seeing images of the kaba; but when I actually saw it for the first time in person, I was in tears awestruck. I was just amazed to be there, so far from home, with millions of people from all over the world, and with physical structures that connected me to imams and prophets (as). I knew it was a gift and a miracle to be there.

4. I learned a level of patience and tolerance that I never even thought about before. I saw real poverty for the first time and remember thinking often about the throngs of people who had no accommodations and were just sleeping on the streets, even in dumpsters, and yet, like me, this was a journey of a life time for them, and they'd probably worked much harder to get there than I had. The poverty in Saudi Arabia outside of the main areas pilgrims frequented was stark in contrast to the sometimes gaudy excessiveness that sat right next to it. A pilgrim is not in control during hajj,he or she is just another drop in a sea, and learns to just wait, just endure, just exist, just feel, just be. While in one sense the journey is a very selfish one - one is striving to have this deed accepted and not wasted, you're very special, called there by God while many others were not able to make it - in another sense, the individuality fades away. You're not special on hajj, but rather you're totally unimportant and not unique from anyone else around you - you're focused on the Creator and the spiritual tasks with very little thought of the world, of comfort or discomfort.

5. I remember being really quite surprised to discover that Safa and Marwa were not mountains but smoothed small hills and under a roof at that. Incongruities and surprises like that happened constantly - one minute all would be holy and peaceful, the next you would be jarred by someone's hostility in the crowd, one sight would be as you expect, the next would be entirely different. While the haram was an amazing place, the most memorable experience for me in Mecca was the evening when several thousand Shias filled a plaza to perform Dua Kumayl, courageously organized by Iranian pilgrims. Saudi police in riot gear surrounded us, but the gathering began and ended without incident. Anything is possible with God, and nothing is possible without God - hajj showed me that repeatedly.

6. Coming home from hajj was the hardest part of the journey. Readjusting to normal life was very difficult, because it was like accepting a fake, two-dimensional reality after seeing the real, 3D HD world for the first time. But I could no more explain my physical and spiritual journey to my non-Muslim family than a land-dwelling animal could describe its world to a fish who lived confined to the depths of the sea. I didn't feel glad to be back, and while my parents were so relieved to have me back, I was not the same me that had left them. I discovered the real challenge of hajj came after it was over. When you're back in your ordinary, mundane life, can you hold on to the lessons, relationships, feelings, and spiritual gains outside of that focused, spiritually-charged environment? Or will you let the old you come back and take over?

If not everyone can go for hajj, perhaps everyone can create or find some spiritually-charged environment to be a humble pilgrim in now and then - a conference, a retreat, or a special prayer room in your home with guests that inspire you spiritually. I think we all need to be pilgrims from this world from time to time to help us not get lost in it.

Praise and thanks be to Allah swt.

A Nice Family Day

My goofy nephew



The family, including my aunt and uncle, mom and dad, brother, sister-in-law, nieces and nephew.


Nephew's photography warrants reaction.

For Thanksgiving

An article I wrote for II a little while ago....

One of the best gifts Allah swt has granted mankind is the ability to feel and express gratitude. Being grateful at the most basic level is very simple and very beneficial. It is simple because it requires no special knowledge, skill, equipment, or preparation - anyone can access the gift of thankfulness. Yet most of us fall short of the mark in expressing due thanks for what others do, and probably all of us owe far more thanks to Allah swt than we even understand. However, improvement is also simple: just make it a practice to notice blessings and kindnesses, to think about them, and to honor them.

One reason gratitude is beneficial is because it improves relationships, - whether interpersonal or with our Creator. When we can feel and express appreciation for God's blessings or other's kindnesses, affection grows. But the personal benefits are also great; a thankful heart is a content and awed heart. Even in times and circumstances of hardship, we always have much to appreciate. When we acknowledge this, our burdens are easier to bear.

Imam Sadiq (as) wrote in Lantern of the Path, "With every breath you take, a thanksgiving is incumbent upon you, indeed, a thousand thanks or more. The lowest level of gratitude is to see that the blessing comes from Allah irrespective of the cause for it, and without the heart being attached to that cause. It consists of being satisfied with what is given; it means not disobeying Him with regard to His blessing, or opposing Him in any of His commands and prohibitions because of His blessing."

Our breathing comes without thought, and yet each breath is a blessing. The struggle for breath is an agony that we are usually spared thousands upon thousands of times without thanking for it. If the gift of breath is taken from us, we will die; breath is life. It is but one of countless examples of blessings from God we owe thanks for. At the very least, we should appreciate that it is a gift from God, be satisfied with the gift, and never use the gift of breath for anything opposing Allah swt. One could possibly say that if we truly wish to express gratitude for the gift of breath, we must never allow ourselves to purposely breathe in any haram substances and we must never use our breath to utter any lies, backbiting, or other haram speech. For even if we claim to feel gratitude, the proof of real thankfulness comes in our actions. If we are thankful for a gift, we will not be careless with it. If someone gave you a birthday present you really loved, you would use it with caution in order to protect it. Similarly, if we are truly grateful for the blessing of breath, we will use it with caution, too.

Imam Sadiq (as) continues:
"Be a grateful bondsman to Allah in every way, and you will find that Allah is a generous Lord in every way. If there were a way of worshipping Allah for His sincerest bondsman to follow more excellent than giving thanks at every instance, He would have ascribed to them the name of this worship above the rest of creation. Since there is no form of worship better than that, He has singled out this kind of worship from other kinds of worship, and has singled out those who practice this kind of worship, saying,

‎وَقَلِيلٌ مِّنْ عِبَادِيَ الشَّكُورُ

Very few of my servants are grateful. (34:13)"

Expressing thanks to God is a great form of worship, and at the minimum is part of our daily prayers. Allah swt has taught us that when we give thanks, blessings increase. Not only is this true about the blessings directly from God, but it applies for gratitude to the blessings of Allah swt that come from people as well. For example, a child who demonstrates true appreciation for Eid gifts or quality time spent with daddy inspires the giver to happily continue to give to that child, while a child who seems to take a gift for granted or does not seem to like or appreciate it may find the giver less generous in the future. God is not in need of our thanks and is not hurt in the least by our ingratitude, but gratitude enriches us immeasurably. "Allah is not in need of the obedience of His bondsmen, for He has the power to increase blessings forever. Therefore be a grateful bondsman to Allah, and in this manner you will see wonders." (Ibid.)

Even feeling and expressing gratitude is itself a merciful blessing from God.
"Complete thankfulness is to sincerely repent your inability to convey the least amount of gratitude, and expressing this by means of your sincere glorification of Allah. This is because fitting thanks is itself a blessing bestowed upon the bondsman for which he must also give thanks; it is of greater merit and of a higher state than the original blessing which caused him to respond with thanks in the first place. Therefore, every time one gives thanks one is obliged to give yet greater thanks, and so on ad infinitum, and this while absorbed in His blessings and unable to achieve the ultimate state of gratitude. For how can the bondsman match with gratitude the blessings of Allah, and when will he match his own action with Allah's while all along the bondsman is weak and has no power whatsoever, except from Allah?" (Ibid.)

The world would be a better place if we were more grateful to Allah swt and to others. Therefore, I would like to publicly thank God for His continued mercy toward me, and to thank my parents for their love. Those few words are not adequate at all, but should not be left unsaid. I invite readers to use the comments section to thank Allah swt and/or any person.

The Mystery!

(If you're reading this on Facebook and not seeing anything, follow the link to the blog for The Mystery).

Math Day

I took some kids from my school down to CSU-Pueblo for a math competition today and our upperclassmen did very well. We lost to only one team and came home with a big trophy for the math bowl competition. In the individual written contest, we got a 2nd place, 5th place, and two honorable mentions - so all our upperclassmen placed. We did the best out of all the schools in our district that went down on the bus together to the competition.

On the way down to Pueblo, I saw something really neat - a whole herd of Elk in a field eating grass, just off the Interstate a few miles north of the PPIR (Pikes Peak International Raceway) track. I've never seen Elk at that low of an elevation before, and there were many of them - neato!

The pictures in this post were taken at the CSU-Pueblo Physics/Math building - they had some neat art reminiscent of Islamic tilings.
is pretty ill. I went to visit the person, and the teacher is getting the needed help but may be there awhile, probably not back to teaching for this semester. Prayers would be appreciated.

My district is looking at having to cut more than $10 million from an already bare-bones budget for next year - it is a little scary - I expect total salary freezes, layoffs, furloughs, cut programs, larger class sizes, no new textbooks or supplies, etc., even though many are already desperately needed.

Finally, Colorado Springs has a veritable Hooverville these days. Along Fountain Creek all the way from Motor City up to CC and probably other places beyond sight of the Interstate, are tents of homeless people who have set up semi-permanent/permanent camp. There were so many I couldn't count....

Fort Hood Tragedy

When things like this happen, my own selfish perspective is that I feel slapped on both sides of the face: once as a human being and again as a Muslim. There is no relief, things keep happening. And there is no reasoning with people who make comments like those below, cut-and-pasted from comments to Fort Hood news articles at my local paper's website. It doesn't matter how factually inaccurate what they say might be, they don't care, and it doesn't change that apparently a Muslim did something horrible again and it is all over the media, so now Muslims face a new bout of suspicion and hatred, and many families must deal with the loss of a loved one in a horrible crime. I feel awful for many reasons on many levels, and sick and tired of being made out as guilty and feeling guilty for crimes I didn't commit, had nothing to do with, don't believe in the ideology behind, etc. Sick and tired of being expected to apologize for things that have nothing to do with me, even when said apology won't be accepted or believed by the same people demanding it anyway. And angry at Muslims who drag the rest of us through the mud and shove our faces down in it. And sorry for all of humanity in tragedy, and thankfully reminded of the true nature of the dunya. I feel pretty helpless to do anything about this continuing state of affairs, and frustrated as a result, like I just have to sit and take it because it is out of my hands.

The only way to prevent this in future is if every last Muslim was
no longer alive.

Many reports have come in - the most explicit from NPR this morning - that Hassan openly lectured fellow doctors during a conference at Walter Reed where all the doctors took turns educating their fellow doctors by lectures which were SUPPOSED to be about their medical field. But Hassan chose to lecture them about the KORAN, and further described in detail how the Korean describes how to kill 'infidels' by, among other things, beheading.

That session was SO bizarre that the doctors after the sessions discussed what Hassan had done - apparently not just 'informing' them about the Korea, - not the purpose of the conference sessions - but pushing it on them. And while one fellow Muslim doctor 'disputed' Hassan's lecture, others joked that he was capable of going out and shooting someone for his beliefs. Prophetic!

Now we get to the nitty gritty of WHY we have a war against Extremist Muslims in the Middle East - or more precisely why we are defending - by taking the fight to their homelands - the war those Muslims started againt US and the largely Christian West. Starting in spades on 9/11.

The reality is (1) the Korean explicitly instructs the faithful to EITHER convert all Infidels, or Kill Them!

Maj Hassan was a very good, very devout Muslim. And not only has a video camera at a store in Killeen Texas taken just a few hours before the massacre shows him, but he is dressed totally in Arabic white costume and cap. And of course you have heard that he shouted "Allah Ahkbar" before he started shooting.

To those of you implying. or outright saying, that muslims should be allowed the same rights as everyone else, I ask you to repeat after me, "If it ain't white, it ain't right!"

The most violent religion is ISLAM! PERIOD! Please don't compare them to ANY religion in our country. Sure we have our problems. NONE of them have killed 3,000 people nor have they killed 14 innocent military. I know the religion of peace loves the USA. Puhleeze. Show me where the religion of peace loves human rights. NOWHERE! They hate women, they hate individuatity. They simply HATE! Go to hell mohammed. go to hell islam. you are hell!

Want to know? Take a large Bible and hold it up as you enter a large mosque during prayers. I'll send flowers!

Ahhh... poor muslims. Allah Akbar. Your religion is incompatible with freedom. If you don't like it, move back to your sandbox. We feel for you. You use our freedom and liberal views of religion against us. How dare we label you as terrorists. although you are always in the middle of terroism. Go Away! We will watch you constantly. You will never find peace in our country! You will be suspect. You will flee. Flee for your life. We will watch you! So far not one muslim has proven to be compatible with our lifestyle. Flee you ugly trash... FLEE!

Take a hard look at the number of Islamic teenage girls killed by their fathers right here in the USA because the young women became too westernized. Also you might take a hard look at the number of Islamic teenage girls who have been hanged because they were molested by older men. The reasoning? They should not have put themselves in a position to temp males. In other words, the older men got them alone, so it was the girls fault!

The ideology of Islam bears some scrutiny. There have been too many incidents to pass these actions of violence off as insignificant, not worth of monitoring. Enough of this fuzzy warm understanding feeling nonsense.

Or, maybe it was just good ol' fashioned jihad! Believe it or not, some devout muslims have a tendency to things like that. BUt, then they are all devout, or they are not considered muslims. It seems the only way they can get to heaven ironically enough is to kill someone (an infidel) during jihad!
It seems that salvation through mercy and grace, and by repentance (and changing the bad things we do towards others) would be a little less destructive to the world at large. But, the religion of Islam isn't predicated on a personal relationship with God. There is no understanding of that at all. There is no understanding of "God as a father figure" or even a truly "loving" God. Allah is a God of guidance and one who demands allegiance. If you are not of the faith then "you are worthy only of death by the sword". In christianity if you are not of the faith, then you are just lost for eternity. Christians may try to bring you back to the flock (so to speak) because that is what our God tells us to do for salvation (among other things) but muslims simply want you gone! As in dead! Nothing less! Becaause their God tells them that is their way to salvation.
So, is it salvation through love and caring, or salvation through eliminating those who don't think as you do?

Anyone who associates with someone who chooses to call themselves Mohammed, Hussein, Hassan, Ali or Atta is putting the safety of themselves and their families at risk.

These people should not be allowed to purchase weapons. They should not be allowed near governmental or military facilities. They certainly should not be in the military. Any suspicious behavior by them should be reported to authorities immediately.

This may seem like racial profiling but there are 12 patriots dead in Texas that would not be if this had been followed. Given our military installations and the Air Force Academy, I suspect there are sleeper cells right here in Colorado Springs intent on hurting us.

When is the US Government going to get it through their heads that you cannot trust Muslims? The Muslim brain is not programmed to respect human life and thus this type of scenario will continue.

Someone with the name "Hassan" should not be allowed in the military or in our communities.

They are named after the son of Mohammed and simply that name makes it too likely they are a terrorist.

The military should have kicked him out because of his name along with all the Muhammads, Mohammeds, Alis, Husseins, Attas, etc.

The religion of peace strikes again. Wake up America!

So how does it work? If a Muslim is on a martyr mission and fails to die, but ends up getting shot by a military firing squad, does he still get the 72 virgins?