Oh Bibi Zainab (as), yesterday we gathered for you. So much we do not know about you. How do we live as women when you, our role model, we know only incompletely? I long to be closer to you and your family, for I feel it is the only cure for loneliness, the only way to raise myself out of the fog, the darkness, toward Allah swt.
How can we gather for you and yet many do not even listen for you or seek you? I feel lost in a sea of people, in their beautiful beaded and sequined dresses; I cannot compare to them, but even so I am confused why is your name not on their tongues, why are they not eager to hear the speaker make remembrance of you on your day? I cannot see their hearts, but I know the spots on my own that shame me.
But still I am happy they are there, for someone should be there, someone must remember you. I seek out anyone with you in their hearts wherever they may be found because I need them; I sought to be free of need in this world, but I am always in need of an occasional beacon or glimmer of burning love for you and your family to light the darkness on my way in this world.
No one stays here long; my heart attaches to a soul and then it moves on, and my heart attaches to others and they move on, and my heart breaks at the loss of a connection, even brief. I am still here and I want to move on, too, but I know my life is about learning patience.
And in solitude, I hear a heartbeat, and it beats remembrance of Ahlulbayt (as); and I realize then that I only feel alone because I allow myself to do injustice. But in the quiet, I again feel the fabric that binds us and remember that you are always there. I cling, as to the rope that pulls away from an icy, turbulent ocean. How grateful to Allah swt I am for the rope of hope, mercy and guidance!
No comments:
Post a Comment