I had thought he was lost in Gambia, but after nearly two years he turned up, and moved on to Finland! What a great traveler he is, it would be great to see the places he has been.
But Blue Bear actually has the most miles of my geocaching travelbugs because someone took him to Tahiti and New South Wales and then he came back to the Americas.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Eid Ghadeer (insha'allah this Saturday)
Eid Ghadeer
As a revert to Islam, Eid Ghadeer is the one Eid that always has made the most sense to me and been the most significant in my worldview. Part of me has found Eid ul Fitr tempered by the loss of the holy days of the month of Ramadhan, and Eid ul Adha significant if you or a loved one is performing the hajj, but otherwise less so. But the Eid al-Ghadeer has always been special to me because it is a celebration of the culmination of Islam - a celebration of the very events that first enabled me to know the status of Imam ‘Ali (as) and the crucial role of Ahlulbayt (as) in the preservation of the True Religion so that I, in 1994, had the blessed chance to discover true Islam for myself. It is only because of Ahlulbayt (as) that I had that chance – without them, the True Religion would have long ago been lost in corruption and time.
I remember feeling exhausted after becoming Muslim. I had spent a year in intensive research, questioning the entire framework of my existence, engaging in deep self-evaluation so that in the end I had turned my life upside down and accepted all the conflict and challenges that would bring my way. But I had yet to scratch the surface of Islamic knowledge and had so far yet to go. I had become aware of the sects and divisions between Muslims, much to my sadness. As a Christian, I had been dismayed by all the man-made churches, none of them holding God’s Truth more than any other. I regretted that I might again find nothing in Islam that provided complete access to Reality.
But then, I read about Ghadeer Khum. The more I read, the lighter my burden became. Here was what I had known must exist – the evidence that God had protected His message from corruption. Every time a revelation from God has come down, man has corrupted it. But the Qur’an has survived because God has protected it, and in Ghadeer Khum I found the means. I felt tears of deep joy and gratitude to find the protectors of the Qur’an, the ones who have lived the real Islam; for without them, I would have no chance of ever finding the truth, I would have remained a deprived wayfarer, unsatisfied with the religions of man’s making.
If I had not been blessed to know about Ghadeer and appreciate the status and role of Ahlulbayt (as), I would have been left very disappointed after my struggle to find the Truth. While I would have gained the clarity of Tawhid that is in Islam, I would yet know I was stuck in a quagmire of man-made distortions that rip apart the Truth and replace it with ignorance and oppression.
In the Qur’an it is written, "And hold fast, all together, by the Rope which God (stretches out for you), and be not divided among yourselves; and remember with gratitude God's favor on you; for you were enemies and He joined your hearts in love, so that by His Grace, you became brethren; and you were on the brink of the Pit of Fire, and He saved you from it. Thus does God make His Signs clear to you, that you may be guided." (3:103)
Numerous hadith inform us that the Rope is none other than the blessed Ahlulbayt (as).
I feel this ayah resonating deep in the very fiber of my existence. Without the rope, I would have nothing to hold to, no hope for access to God’s Truth. It is a great favor from God for which I owe immeasurable gratitude that I was able to find this rope and try with my best effort to cling to it. I cling to this rope with the love of Ahlulbayt (as) who made my journey to Islam possible, and who have provided me the means to hope for progress on the journey of Truth and salvation from the Fire of Hell. For without Ahlulbayt (as), I could only be on the brink of the Pit of Fire, but by clinging to their Rope I might be pulled away from it.
The Ahlulbayt (as) have given me, and have given all of us, the chance to realize our potentials, the ability to hope, and the opportunity for the complete peace that can only be found in one who has glimpsed the Truth. Therefore, the Eid of Ghadeer is the most joyous and meaningful Eid to me, It is the Eid of hope and opportunity for all of us. May Allah swt bless Muhammad and the family of Muhammad with His greatest blessings and grant them the most fulfilling peace, and may more and more of humanity come to realize the great gift given to all of us when Allah swt perfected religion by securing the role of Ahlulbayt (as).
As a revert to Islam, Eid Ghadeer is the one Eid that always has made the most sense to me and been the most significant in my worldview. Part of me has found Eid ul Fitr tempered by the loss of the holy days of the month of Ramadhan, and Eid ul Adha significant if you or a loved one is performing the hajj, but otherwise less so. But the Eid al-Ghadeer has always been special to me because it is a celebration of the culmination of Islam - a celebration of the very events that first enabled me to know the status of Imam ‘Ali (as) and the crucial role of Ahlulbayt (as) in the preservation of the True Religion so that I, in 1994, had the blessed chance to discover true Islam for myself. It is only because of Ahlulbayt (as) that I had that chance – without them, the True Religion would have long ago been lost in corruption and time.
I remember feeling exhausted after becoming Muslim. I had spent a year in intensive research, questioning the entire framework of my existence, engaging in deep self-evaluation so that in the end I had turned my life upside down and accepted all the conflict and challenges that would bring my way. But I had yet to scratch the surface of Islamic knowledge and had so far yet to go. I had become aware of the sects and divisions between Muslims, much to my sadness. As a Christian, I had been dismayed by all the man-made churches, none of them holding God’s Truth more than any other. I regretted that I might again find nothing in Islam that provided complete access to Reality.
But then, I read about Ghadeer Khum. The more I read, the lighter my burden became. Here was what I had known must exist – the evidence that God had protected His message from corruption. Every time a revelation from God has come down, man has corrupted it. But the Qur’an has survived because God has protected it, and in Ghadeer Khum I found the means. I felt tears of deep joy and gratitude to find the protectors of the Qur’an, the ones who have lived the real Islam; for without them, I would have no chance of ever finding the truth, I would have remained a deprived wayfarer, unsatisfied with the religions of man’s making.
If I had not been blessed to know about Ghadeer and appreciate the status and role of Ahlulbayt (as), I would have been left very disappointed after my struggle to find the Truth. While I would have gained the clarity of Tawhid that is in Islam, I would yet know I was stuck in a quagmire of man-made distortions that rip apart the Truth and replace it with ignorance and oppression.
In the Qur’an it is written, "And hold fast, all together, by the Rope which God (stretches out for you), and be not divided among yourselves; and remember with gratitude God's favor on you; for you were enemies and He joined your hearts in love, so that by His Grace, you became brethren; and you were on the brink of the Pit of Fire, and He saved you from it. Thus does God make His Signs clear to you, that you may be guided." (3:103)
Numerous hadith inform us that the Rope is none other than the blessed Ahlulbayt (as).
I feel this ayah resonating deep in the very fiber of my existence. Without the rope, I would have nothing to hold to, no hope for access to God’s Truth. It is a great favor from God for which I owe immeasurable gratitude that I was able to find this rope and try with my best effort to cling to it. I cling to this rope with the love of Ahlulbayt (as) who made my journey to Islam possible, and who have provided me the means to hope for progress on the journey of Truth and salvation from the Fire of Hell. For without Ahlulbayt (as), I could only be on the brink of the Pit of Fire, but by clinging to their Rope I might be pulled away from it.
The Ahlulbayt (as) have given me, and have given all of us, the chance to realize our potentials, the ability to hope, and the opportunity for the complete peace that can only be found in one who has glimpsed the Truth. Therefore, the Eid of Ghadeer is the most joyous and meaningful Eid to me, It is the Eid of hope and opportunity for all of us. May Allah swt bless Muhammad and the family of Muhammad with His greatest blessings and grant them the most fulfilling peace, and may more and more of humanity come to realize the great gift given to all of us when Allah swt perfected religion by securing the role of Ahlulbayt (as).
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Ziyarat Warith
Ziyarat Warith
Salaams upon you, O inheritor of Adam, the chosen one of Allah
اَلسَّلامُ عَلَيْكَ يا وارِثَ آدَمَ صِفْوَةِ اللهِ
Salaams upon you, O inheritor of Nuh, the Prophet of Allah
اَلسَّلامُ عَلَيْكَ يا وارِثَ نُوح نَبِىِّ اللهِ
Salaams upon you, O inheritor of Ibrahim, the friend of Allah
اَلسَّلامُ عَلَيْكَ يا وارِثَ اِبْراهيمَ خَليلِ اللهِ
Salaams upon you. O inheritor of Musa, the one who talked to Allah
اَلسَّلامُ عَلَيْكَ يا وارِثَ مُوسى كَليمِ اللهِ
Salaams upon you, O inheritor of 'Isa, the spirit of Allah
اَلسَّلامُ عَلَيْكَ يا وارِثَ عيسى رُوحِ اللهِ
Salaams upon you, O inheritor of Muhammad, the beloved friend of Allah
اَلسَّلامُ عَلَيْكَ يا وارِثَ مُحَمَّد حَبيبِ اللهِ
Salaams upon you, O inheritor of Ali, the commander of the faithful and the friend of Allah
اَلسَّلامُ عَلَيْكَ يا وارِثَ عَلِىٍّ اَميرِ الْمُؤْمِنينَ وَلِىِّ اللهِ
Salaams upon you, O inheritor of Hasan, the shaheed, grandson of the messenger of Allah
اَلسَّلامُ عَلَيْكَ يا وارِثَ الْحَسَنِ الشَّهيدِ سِبْطِ رَسُولِ اللهِ
Salaams upon you, O son of the Prophet
اَلسَّلامُ عَلَيْكَ يَا بْنَ رَسُولِ اللهِ
Salaams upon you, O son of the one who brought good tidings and warning, and the son of the leader of successors
اَلسَّلامُ عَلَيْكَ يَا بْنَ الْبَشيرِ النَّذيرِ وَابْنَ سَيِّدِ الْوَصِيِّينَ
Salaams upon you, O son of Fatema, leader of the women of the worlds
اَلسَّلامُ عَلَيْكَ يَابْنَ فاطِمَةَ سَيِّدَةِ نِسآءِ الْعالَمينَ
Salaams upon you, O Aba Abdillah
اَلسَّلامُ عَلَيْكَ يا اَبا عَبْدِ اللهِ
Salaams upon you, O the best with Allah and the son of the best
اَلسَّلامُ عَلَيْكَ يا خِيَرَةَ اللهِ وَابْنَ خِيَرَتِهِ
Salaams upon you, O he who fought in the way of Allah and the son of one who fought in the way of Allah
اَلسَّلامُ عَلَيْكَ يا ثارَ اللهِ وَابْنَ ثارِهِ
Salaams upon you, O he who was
isolated and attacked with vengeance
اَلسَّلامُ عَلَيْكَ اَيُّهَا الْوِتْرَ الْمَوْتُورَ
Salaams upon you, O the Imam, the just guide
اَلسَّلامُ عَلَيْكَ اَيُّهَا الاِْمامُ الْهادِى الزَّكِىُّ
And (salaams upon) those on your side
And those who stayed with you
And those who joined
وَعَلى الاَرْواح حَلَّتْ بِفِنآئِكَ وَاَقامَتْ فى جِوارِكَ وَوَفَدَتْ مَعَ زُوّارِكَ
Salaams upon you from me for the rest of my nights and days
اَلسَّلامُ عَلَيْكَ مِنِّى ما بَقيتُ وَبَقِىَ اللَّيْلُ وَالنَّهارُ
Indeed great was your test And it greatly moved the mu'mineen, the Muslims and the dwellers of the heavens and the earth
فَلَقَدْ عَظُمَتِ بِكَ الرَّزِيَّةُ وَجَلَّ الْمُصابُ فِى الْمُؤْمِنينَ وَالْمُسْلِمينَ وَفى اَهْلِ السَّمواتِ اَجْمَعينَ وَفى سُكّـانِ الاَْرَضينَ
Indeed we are from Allah and to Him we return
فَاِنّا للهِ وَاِنّا اِلَيْهِ راجِعُونَ
And blessings, and greetings of Allah be upon you and on your forefathers
The pure, the pious and the outstanding and their rightly guided descendants
وَصَلَواتُ اللهِ وَبَرَكاتُهُ وَتَحِيّاتُهُ عَلَيْكَ وَعَلى آبآئِكَ الطّاهِرينَ الطَّيِّبينَ الْمُنْتَجَبَينَ وَعَلى ذَراريهِمُ الْهُداةِ الْمَهْدِيّينَ
Salaams upon you, O my mawla and on them, tranquillity be upon your soul and their souls
اَلسَّلامُ عَلَيْكَ يا مَوْلاىَ وَعَلَيْهِمْ وَعَلى رُوحِكَ وَعَلى اَرْواحِهِمْ
And on your resting places
وَعَلى تُرْبَتِكَ وَعَلى تُرْبَتِهِمْ
O Allah! Let Your mercy, pleasure and tranquillity be on them
اَللّـهُمَّ لَقِّهِمْ رَحْمَةً وَرِضْواناً وَرَوْحاً وَرَيْحاناً
Salaams upon you, O my mawla, O Aba Abdillah, Son of the last of the messengers and son of the first of the successors and son of the leader of the women of the worlds
اَلسَّلامُ عَلَيْكَ يا مَوْلاىَ يا اَبا عَبْدِاللهِ يَا بْنَ خاتَمِ النَّبِيّينَ وَيَا بْنَ سَيِّدِ الْوَصِيّينَ وَيَا بْنَ سَيِّدَةَ نِسآءِ الْعالَمينَ
Salaams upon you, O the shaheed son of the shaheed O brother of the shaheed, and O father of the shuhada
اَلسَّلامُ عَلَيْكَ يا شَهيدُ يَا بْنَ الشَّهيدِ يا اَخَ الشَّهيدِ يا اَبَا الشُّهَدآءِ
O Allah! I send to him in this hour, and this day and this moment and in every moment, lots of greetings And salaams of Allah be upon you and His mercy and blessings O son of the leader of the worlds and on the shuhada with you Forever, for as long as the nights and days follow each other
اَللّـهُمَّ بَلِّغْهُ عَنّى فى هذِهِ السّاعَةِ وَفى هذَا الْيَوْمِ وَفى هذَا الْوَقْتِ وَفى كُلِّ وَقْت تَحِيَّةً كَثيرَةً وَسَلاماً سَلامُ اللهِ عَلَيْكِ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكاتُهُ يَا بْنَ سَيِّدِ الْعالَمينَ وَعَلَى الْمُسْتَشْهَدينَ مَعَكَ سَلاماً مُتَّصِلاً مَا اتَّصَلَ اللَّيْلُ وَالنَّهارُ
Salaams upon you, Husein, son of Ali - the shaheed
السَّلامُ عَلَى الْحُسَيْنِ بْنِ عَلِىّ الشَّهيدِ
Salaams upon you, Ali son of Husayn - the shaheed
السَّلامُ عَلى عَلِىِّ بْنِ الْحُسَيْنِ الشَّهيدِ
Salaams upon you, Abbas son of Amirul Mu'mineen - the shaheed
اَلسَّلامُ عَلَى الْعَبّاسِ بْنِ اَميرِ الْمُؤْمِنينَ الشَّهيدِ
Salaams upon all the shuhada from the sons of Amirul Mu'mineen
السَّلامُ عَلَى الشُّهَدآءِ مِنْ وُلْدِ اَمِيرِ الْمُؤْمِنينَ
Salaams upon all the shuhada from the sons of Hasan
اَلسَّلامُ عَلَى الشُّهَدآءِ مِنْ وُلْدِ الْحَسَنِ
Salaams upon all the shuhada from the sons of Husein
Salaams upon all the shuhada from the sons of Jafer and Aqeel
اَلسَّلامُ عَلَى الشُّهَدآءِ مِنْ وُلْدِ الْحُسَيْنِ
السَّلامُ عَلَى الشُّهَدآءِ مِنْ وُلْدِ جَعْفَر وَعَقِيل
Salaams upon all the shuhada with you from the mu'mineen
اَلسَّلامُ عَلى كُلِّ مُسْتَشْهَد مَعَهُمْ مِنَ الْمُؤْمِنين
O Allah! send Your blessings on Muhammad and his Ahlulbayt and I send to them lots of greetings and salaams
اَللّـهُمَّ صَلِّ عَلى مُحَمَّد وَآلِ مُحَمَّد وَبَلِّغْهُمْ عَنّى تَحِيَّةً كَثيرَةً وَسَلاماً
Salaams upon you, O Messenger of Allah May Allah give the best of condolences to you to bear that which happened to your son Husein
اَلسَّلامُ عَلَيْكَ يا رَسُولَ اللهِ اَحْسَنَ اللهُ لَكَ الْعَزآءَ فى وَلَدِكَ الْحُسَيْنِ
Salaams upon you, O Fatema May Allah give the best of condolences to you to bear that which happened to your son Husein
اَلسَّلامُ عَلَيْكِ يا فاطِمَةُ اَحْسَنَ اللهُ لَكَ الْعَزآءَ فى وَلَدِكَ الْحُسَيْنِ
Salaams upon you, O Amirul Mu'mineen May Allah give the best of condolences to you to bear with that which happened to your son Husein
اَلسَّلامُ عَلَيْكَ يا اَميرَ الْمُؤْمِنينَ اَحْسَنَ اللهُ لَكَ الْعَزآءَ فِى وَلَدِكَ الْحُسَيْنِ
Salaams upon you O Abu Muhammad - Hasan May Allah give the best of condolences to you to bear that which happened to your brother Husein
اَلسَّلامُ عَلَيْكَ يا اَبا مُحَمَّد الْحَسَنَ اَحْسَنَ اللهُ لَكَ الْعَزآءِ فى اَخيكَ الْحُسَيْنِ
O my mawla, O Aba Abdillah
يا مَوْلاىَ يا اَبا عَبْدِاللهِ
I have taken refuge with Allah and with you
اَنَا َضْيُف اِلله َوضَيْفُكَ
I am near Allah and near you
وَجارُ اللهِ وَجارُكَ
As every guest and friend receives hospitality,
وَلِكُلِّ ضَيْف وَجار قِرىً
I too request it at this moment That you ask Allah, the Glorified and high, that He grant me freedom from the fire Indeed He hears Dua and answers immediately.
وَقِراىَ فى هذَا الْوَقْتِ اَنْ تَسْئَلَ اللهَ سُبْحانَهُ وَتَعالى اَنْ يَرْزُقَنى فَكاكَ رَقَبَتى مِنَ النّارِ اِنَّهُ سَميعُ الدُّعآءِ قَريبُ مُجيبُ .
Movies for the year
I posted a brief reflection of the movies seen this year at the Muslim Movie Review blog.
I think my favorite few of the year were Bourne Ultimatum, The Astronaut Farmer, and Transformers. But there were some other good ones, too, as well as bad. Do you have any favorites for the year?
I think my favorite few of the year were Bourne Ultimatum, The Astronaut Farmer, and Transformers. But there were some other good ones, too, as well as bad. Do you have any favorites for the year?
Monday, December 17, 2007
The Whispered Prayer of the Hopeful
In the Name of God, the All-merciful, the All-compassionate
1. O He who gives to a servant who asks from Him, takes him to his wish when he expectantly hopes for what is with Him, brings him near and close when he approaches Him, covers over his sin and cloaks it when he shows it openly, and satisfies and suffices him when he has confidence in Him!
2. My God, who is the one who has come before Thee seeking hospitality, and whom Thou hast not received hospitably? Who is the one who has dismounted at Thy door hoping for magnanimity, and to whom Thou hast not shown it? Is it good that I come back from Thy door, turned away in disappointment, while I know of no patron qualified by beneficence but Thee? How should I have hope in other than Thee, when the good - all of it - is in Thy hand? How should I expect from others, when Thine are the creation and the command? Should I cut off my hope for Thee, when Thou hast shown me of Thy bounty that for which I have not asked? Wouldst Thou make me have need for my like? But I hold fast to Thy cord! O He through whose mercy the strivers reach felicity and through whose vengeance the seekers of forgiveness are not made wretched! How should I forget Thee, while Thou never ceasest remembering me? How should I be diverted from Thee while Thou art my constant watcher?
3. My God, I have fastened my hand to the skirt of Thy generosity, I have stretched forth my expectation toward reaching Thy gifts, so render me pure through the purest profession of Thy Unity, and appoint me one of Thy choice servants! O He who is the asylum of every fleer, the hope of every seeker! O Best Object of hope! O Most Generous Object of supplication! O He who does not reject His asker or disappoint the expectant! O He whose door is open to His supplicators and whose veil is lifted for those who hope in Him! I ask Thee by Thy generosity to show kindness toward me through Thy gifts, with that which will gladden my eye, through hope in Thee, with that which will give serenity to my soul, and through certainty with that which will make easy for me the afflictions of this world and lift from my insight the veils of blindness! By Thy mercy, O Most Merciful of the merciful!
1. O He who gives to a servant who asks from Him, takes him to his wish when he expectantly hopes for what is with Him, brings him near and close when he approaches Him, covers over his sin and cloaks it when he shows it openly, and satisfies and suffices him when he has confidence in Him!
2. My God, who is the one who has come before Thee seeking hospitality, and whom Thou hast not received hospitably? Who is the one who has dismounted at Thy door hoping for magnanimity, and to whom Thou hast not shown it? Is it good that I come back from Thy door, turned away in disappointment, while I know of no patron qualified by beneficence but Thee? How should I have hope in other than Thee, when the good - all of it - is in Thy hand? How should I expect from others, when Thine are the creation and the command? Should I cut off my hope for Thee, when Thou hast shown me of Thy bounty that for which I have not asked? Wouldst Thou make me have need for my like? But I hold fast to Thy cord! O He through whose mercy the strivers reach felicity and through whose vengeance the seekers of forgiveness are not made wretched! How should I forget Thee, while Thou never ceasest remembering me? How should I be diverted from Thee while Thou art my constant watcher?
3. My God, I have fastened my hand to the skirt of Thy generosity, I have stretched forth my expectation toward reaching Thy gifts, so render me pure through the purest profession of Thy Unity, and appoint me one of Thy choice servants! O He who is the asylum of every fleer, the hope of every seeker! O Best Object of hope! O Most Generous Object of supplication! O He who does not reject His asker or disappoint the expectant! O He whose door is open to His supplicators and whose veil is lifted for those who hope in Him! I ask Thee by Thy generosity to show kindness toward me through Thy gifts, with that which will gladden my eye, through hope in Thee, with that which will give serenity to my soul, and through certainty with that which will make easy for me the afflictions of this world and lift from my insight the veils of blindness! By Thy mercy, O Most Merciful of the merciful!
Friday, November 30, 2007
"Off with her Head!"
‘“Off with her head!” the Queen shouted at the top of her voice. Nobody moved.’ – Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland.
Gillian Gibbons received a 15-day jail sentence and deportation from Sudan for allowing young students to name a teddy bear Muhammad, after a popular student. But after Friday prayers on November 30, protesters in Sudan took to the streets, demanding her execution by firing squad. Her supporters, Muslim and non-Muslim alike, find the allegation of blasphemy and the reaction of Sudanese protestors both ridiculous. According to the BBC, a great many Muslim scholars and laypersons have come forward saying there is no problem with a teddy bear named Muhammad. Many have noted that she had no intent to insult in any way, and wasn’t even using the name to represent the Prophet of Islam (saw). Further, it is not uncommon for Muslim children all over the world to name pets and toys after the Prophet (saw) or other key figures in Islamic history they admire. This fiasco begs the question of what Islam really says about blasphemy. Do the Sudanese have any ground to stand on, or are they just uneducated radicals? It turns out that Islam does take a very strong stance against blasphemy, but cultural misunderstandings, political climate, poor practice of ethics, and undue attention to intent have led to this horrible situation.
In the now defunct ‘Aalim Network, Dr. Liyakatali Takim explained the Shia position in regards to blasphemy. “Blasphemy, by definition, refers to uttering profane language, insulting or abusing … that which is sacred to religion.” This includes God, the Prophet (saw), and the Ahlulbayt (sa). He cites the fatwa of Ayatullah al-Khu’i on the punishment for blasphemy. “…it is incumbent (wajib) to kill one who insults … the Prophet when one hears the insults provided there is no danger to his self, reputation or wealth. Agha also extends this ruling to cover insults against the Imams and Bibi Fatima (as).” In the same discussion, Dr. Takim goes on to explain rulings regarding apostasy and how punishments are drastically different depending on if one is born Muslim, and what one’s intent had been.
Therefore the Sudanese protesters understand correctly that the punishment for blasphemy can be execution. However, according to Ayatullah al-Khu’i, female blasphemers are not to be executed and people must be given the opportunity to repent. If they do, no punishment should be delivered. But no blasphemy occurred in this case. Blasphemy requires an intention to insult or defame as well as knowledge, and there is no doubt that Ms. Gibbons had neither. Her actions are no more blasphemous than those of the students she taught who suggested the name in the first place, because she, being non-Muslim, unaware of the potential damaging interpretations of her actions, and having no bad intent, is no more culpable than they. Further, her words and actions since the incident undoubtedly would indicate repentance, even if one insisted on interpreting the incident as blasphemy. Ayatullah al-Khu’i’s ruling also seems to indicate that the wajib punishment is on condition of an ‘adl adult having witnessed the insults. It is not clear that that happened. It seems likely and unfortunate that politics are at play here and Ms. Gibbons is an unwitting victim.
It is extremely frustrating to watch Muslims react with unrestrained and unjustified anger time and time again. It seems the people explode under misguidance and frustration from oppression and difficulties that have little or nothing to do with the incidents at hand. These bad-mannered and inappropriate actions only further spread misunderstanding, hatred and oppression, harming the entire Ummah and the whole of humanity. The Prophet (saw) and Ahlulbayt (as) endured abuse repeatedly without harming the perpetrators or getting angry, because they always had in mind to preserve and further God’s gift of Islam to us all. “To control your anger is praiseworthy in the eyes of Allah, whether you control your anger by patience or politeness.” (Mustadrak 2, p. 87) Further, if nothing else, we should see the screaming need for us to take great effort in emphasizing proper education and demonstration of ethics and fiqh for ourselves and our children.
Don’t be the Queen, shouting “Off with her head!” The Queen is a disgraced, foolish tyrant for losing her own head and heart.
The Ka'bah
The Ka’bah – What is it really?
The Hajj season is upon us, when millions of Muslims journey to Mecca and circumambulate the Ka’bah, that simple square building that we face toward when we pray. How strange it is that an insignificant structure such as this is the center of our hajj rites and the direction of our prayers! Why is this tiny stone cubic house so important? The Ka’bah has great cosmological significance that we all should understand in order to make better sense of our rites and prayers. The Ka’bah is the physical correspondence of the highest heaven.
The Ka’bah is called the Bait al Allah or Kaba e Allah, meaning House of God. But we know God needs no house, and is not confined to any space. It is also called the first house of mankind. Yet no human is known to have ever lived in it, so what does that mean? It is certain that Abraham (as) constructed the Ka’bah. But, before he built it, when he moved Hagar and Ishmael (as) to the empty desert, he said, “O our Lord! I have made some of my offspring to dwell in a valley without cultivation, by Thy Sacred House….” (Qur’an 14:37) So he was already aware of the Ka’bah before he built it! Many scholars say that the Ka’bah was first built by Adam (as) but the structure had wasted away. All agree at least that it existed somehow prior to Abraham (as).
The Ka’bah is like the Bait ul Mamur (the Oft-Frequented House) and is said to be built directly under it. The Bait ul Mamur is a house located in the fourth heaven that angels circumambulate and enter. Several traditions state that Adam (as) had prayed at that house, as well. So to understand the Ka’bah, we need to understand the Bait ul Mamur. So what is the significance of Bait ul Mamur? Both the Ka’bah and the Bait ul Mamur are symbols of how God brings about and attends to His creation.
To understand that, we have to first understand how the decrees of Allah swt come to reality. The Qur’an says, “And your Cherisher-Lord creates what He wishes….” (28:68) and “Surely His commanding is such that, when He desires a thing, He just says to it, “Become!” and it becomes.” (36:82) These two ayahs describe creation as mashi’ah (wishing), iradah (desiring), and amr (commanding), as well as symbolizing it by speech of Allah swt. All of these indicate that creation is the production of the outcome of Allah’s mashi’ah. A hadith of Ahlulbayt (as) says, “Allah created the Wish through itself, then He created the things through the Wish.” The Wish is symbolized as “the Water” or “Waters” in Qur’an and hadith. For example, “And from the Water We made everything alive.” (21:30) The scholars tell us this ayah also shows that every created thing is alive in some fashion. The fact that water (H2O) is repeatedly described as Mercy from Allah swt contributes to the symbolism of the Wish from which creation begins as the ultimate Mercy of the Creator.
The Creator-created relationship is a polar one, with the Creator in the seat of guardianship and authority. This position of guardianship is in the Qur’an called ‘arsh, which is translated most often as “throne (raised, shaded seat of authority)” or “empyrean” (the highest heaven). As Allah swt is not confined to a body, it does not mean a literal chair throne. The Arabic verbal root meaning of ‘arsh is a pillared structure raised from the ground. The Wish descends from and is beneath the empyrean “… and His empyrean was over the Water.” (Qur’an 11:7) Imam Ali bin Husain (as) said that in the ‘arsh or empyrean is a likeness of every created thing, and this is the meaning of “And there is not a thing except that its treasuries are with Us.” (15:21) The empyrean is also the gate of Allah’s administration over Creation: “He projects His guardianship uniformly to all creation over the empyrean; He administers the command.” (10:3)
Imam ‘Ali (as) has said that the empyrean is a cubical structure made of four pillars of light – one white, one yellow, one green and one red. The white light is the light of consciousness (‘aql) and knowledge and is the first, foundational pillar. Its symbol in the Qur’an is the pen (qalam). The green light is the Preserved Tablet (Lawh Mahfuz), the record or soul (31:28) of creation in the empyrean. The yellow light pillar is the Spirit (Ruh) as mentioned in Qur’an 17:85. It is through the Spirit that prophets and those close to Allah swt receive their knowledge and power. Ruh is related to rih, the wind. Thus, according to Imam Baqir (as), just was the Wish is symbolized by water, the Spirit is symbolized by wind - a movement and energy that effuses everything. The red light of the empyrean is the blood line that connects the empyrean to the physical universe or nature; it carries all the vibrations of created things.
So the Ka’bah is itself an ‘arsh, representing the ‘arsh of Allah swt, the highest heaven. Like the empyrean, it is a cube, with four corners mirroring the four corners of the empyrean. Imam Sadiq (as) quoted the Prophet (saw) about this correspondence. “The Ka’bah is called the Ka’bah because it is square-based. It is square-based because it is in correspondence to the Bayt ul Mamur. The Bayt ul Mamur is square-based because the empyrean is square-based. The empyrean is square-based because the phrases upon which Islam is based are four: Subhanallah, Alhumdulillah, La ilaha illa allahu, and Allahu akbar!” The corner with the black stone corresponds to the corner of the empyrean of the white light (consciousness). Incidentally, some hadith say that the black stone is actually white, but blackened by repeated touching. As pilgrims move around the Ka’bah, the move past the pillars of consciousness (white), then Spirit (yellow), then Soul (green), then nature (red).
With this knowledge, we can understand why we face toward the Ka’bah when we pray. We are facing toward the symbol of the highest heaven where Allah’s swt guidance, mercy and creation are all projected from. So facing toward the Ka’bah symbolizes facing towards the gateway between the physical Universe and Allah swt. This does not imply that Allah swt is confined out of the physical Universe, but rather refers to the methodology of creation, guardianship, and bestowal of mercy.
Scholars have noted that the Ka’bah is empty and has in its cubic shape all cardinal directions in three dimensions. All to be seen there is absoluteness, eternity. It is not a shrine. It is a symbol, a projection, a source of connection to the highest heaven, and an opening for the descent of Allah swt’s Wish into manifestation in the physical Universe. Some hadith indicate that the creation of the land of the Earth began at the location of the Ka’bah, as it is the Origin of physical creation. It is the symbol of our original home as we manifest from Wish in the empyrean, and that is why when we go for pilgrimage, we do not pray shortened prayers like travelers. We are going back to our source.
The hajj rites all are steeped in symbolism. We recreate the actions of Abraham (as) and Hagar (ra) to represent and learn from their deeds. Therefore, it is probable that the symbolism of the Ka’bah as the ‘arsh has a significant meaning in the context of those rites and our understanding of our roles in the Universe and in the Ummah. Knowing that the Ka’bah is itself a symbol can give us much to ponder about the possible meanings of events in history such as Imam ‘Ali (as) being born in the Ka’bah. At the very least, the Ka’bah as a symbol of the ‘arsh has very deep implications about the direction we face when we pray.
References:
The History of Ka’bah by Hasan Zafar Naqvi
Islam Dynamic: The Cosmology, Spirituality and Practice of Walayah by Idris Samawi Hamid
Hajj: Reflections on its Rituals by Ali Shariati
The Hajj season is upon us, when millions of Muslims journey to Mecca and circumambulate the Ka’bah, that simple square building that we face toward when we pray. How strange it is that an insignificant structure such as this is the center of our hajj rites and the direction of our prayers! Why is this tiny stone cubic house so important? The Ka’bah has great cosmological significance that we all should understand in order to make better sense of our rites and prayers. The Ka’bah is the physical correspondence of the highest heaven.
The Ka’bah is called the Bait al Allah or Kaba e Allah, meaning House of God. But we know God needs no house, and is not confined to any space. It is also called the first house of mankind. Yet no human is known to have ever lived in it, so what does that mean? It is certain that Abraham (as) constructed the Ka’bah. But, before he built it, when he moved Hagar and Ishmael (as) to the empty desert, he said, “O our Lord! I have made some of my offspring to dwell in a valley without cultivation, by Thy Sacred House….” (Qur’an 14:37) So he was already aware of the Ka’bah before he built it! Many scholars say that the Ka’bah was first built by Adam (as) but the structure had wasted away. All agree at least that it existed somehow prior to Abraham (as).
The Ka’bah is like the Bait ul Mamur (the Oft-Frequented House) and is said to be built directly under it. The Bait ul Mamur is a house located in the fourth heaven that angels circumambulate and enter. Several traditions state that Adam (as) had prayed at that house, as well. So to understand the Ka’bah, we need to understand the Bait ul Mamur. So what is the significance of Bait ul Mamur? Both the Ka’bah and the Bait ul Mamur are symbols of how God brings about and attends to His creation.
To understand that, we have to first understand how the decrees of Allah swt come to reality. The Qur’an says, “And your Cherisher-Lord creates what He wishes….” (28:68) and “Surely His commanding is such that, when He desires a thing, He just says to it, “Become!” and it becomes.” (36:82) These two ayahs describe creation as mashi’ah (wishing), iradah (desiring), and amr (commanding), as well as symbolizing it by speech of Allah swt. All of these indicate that creation is the production of the outcome of Allah’s mashi’ah. A hadith of Ahlulbayt (as) says, “Allah created the Wish through itself, then He created the things through the Wish.” The Wish is symbolized as “the Water” or “Waters” in Qur’an and hadith. For example, “And from the Water We made everything alive.” (21:30) The scholars tell us this ayah also shows that every created thing is alive in some fashion. The fact that water (H2O) is repeatedly described as Mercy from Allah swt contributes to the symbolism of the Wish from which creation begins as the ultimate Mercy of the Creator.
The Creator-created relationship is a polar one, with the Creator in the seat of guardianship and authority. This position of guardianship is in the Qur’an called ‘arsh, which is translated most often as “throne (raised, shaded seat of authority)” or “empyrean” (the highest heaven). As Allah swt is not confined to a body, it does not mean a literal chair throne. The Arabic verbal root meaning of ‘arsh is a pillared structure raised from the ground. The Wish descends from and is beneath the empyrean “… and His empyrean was over the Water.” (Qur’an 11:7) Imam Ali bin Husain (as) said that in the ‘arsh or empyrean is a likeness of every created thing, and this is the meaning of “And there is not a thing except that its treasuries are with Us.” (15:21) The empyrean is also the gate of Allah’s administration over Creation: “He projects His guardianship uniformly to all creation over the empyrean; He administers the command.” (10:3)
Imam ‘Ali (as) has said that the empyrean is a cubical structure made of four pillars of light – one white, one yellow, one green and one red. The white light is the light of consciousness (‘aql) and knowledge and is the first, foundational pillar. Its symbol in the Qur’an is the pen (qalam). The green light is the Preserved Tablet (Lawh Mahfuz), the record or soul (31:28) of creation in the empyrean. The yellow light pillar is the Spirit (Ruh) as mentioned in Qur’an 17:85. It is through the Spirit that prophets and those close to Allah swt receive their knowledge and power. Ruh is related to rih, the wind. Thus, according to Imam Baqir (as), just was the Wish is symbolized by water, the Spirit is symbolized by wind - a movement and energy that effuses everything. The red light of the empyrean is the blood line that connects the empyrean to the physical universe or nature; it carries all the vibrations of created things.
So the Ka’bah is itself an ‘arsh, representing the ‘arsh of Allah swt, the highest heaven. Like the empyrean, it is a cube, with four corners mirroring the four corners of the empyrean. Imam Sadiq (as) quoted the Prophet (saw) about this correspondence. “The Ka’bah is called the Ka’bah because it is square-based. It is square-based because it is in correspondence to the Bayt ul Mamur. The Bayt ul Mamur is square-based because the empyrean is square-based. The empyrean is square-based because the phrases upon which Islam is based are four: Subhanallah, Alhumdulillah, La ilaha illa allahu, and Allahu akbar!” The corner with the black stone corresponds to the corner of the empyrean of the white light (consciousness). Incidentally, some hadith say that the black stone is actually white, but blackened by repeated touching. As pilgrims move around the Ka’bah, the move past the pillars of consciousness (white), then Spirit (yellow), then Soul (green), then nature (red).
With this knowledge, we can understand why we face toward the Ka’bah when we pray. We are facing toward the symbol of the highest heaven where Allah’s swt guidance, mercy and creation are all projected from. So facing toward the Ka’bah symbolizes facing towards the gateway between the physical Universe and Allah swt. This does not imply that Allah swt is confined out of the physical Universe, but rather refers to the methodology of creation, guardianship, and bestowal of mercy.
Scholars have noted that the Ka’bah is empty and has in its cubic shape all cardinal directions in three dimensions. All to be seen there is absoluteness, eternity. It is not a shrine. It is a symbol, a projection, a source of connection to the highest heaven, and an opening for the descent of Allah swt’s Wish into manifestation in the physical Universe. Some hadith indicate that the creation of the land of the Earth began at the location of the Ka’bah, as it is the Origin of physical creation. It is the symbol of our original home as we manifest from Wish in the empyrean, and that is why when we go for pilgrimage, we do not pray shortened prayers like travelers. We are going back to our source.
The hajj rites all are steeped in symbolism. We recreate the actions of Abraham (as) and Hagar (ra) to represent and learn from their deeds. Therefore, it is probable that the symbolism of the Ka’bah as the ‘arsh has a significant meaning in the context of those rites and our understanding of our roles in the Universe and in the Ummah. Knowing that the Ka’bah is itself a symbol can give us much to ponder about the possible meanings of events in history such as Imam ‘Ali (as) being born in the Ka’bah. At the very least, the Ka’bah as a symbol of the ‘arsh has very deep implications about the direction we face when we pray.
References:
The History of Ka’bah by Hasan Zafar Naqvi
Islam Dynamic: The Cosmology, Spirituality and Practice of Walayah by Idris Samawi Hamid
Hajj: Reflections on its Rituals by Ali Shariati
Thursday, November 22, 2007
The Box
I think there's a box in the shed with his stuff. He hadn't ever had a lot of stuff with me, but there were a few objects. I long ago got rid of the stuff I knew he wouldn't care about, but what about the other things? -- his diploma, a few pictures of his nieces. They're not mine. I don't know how to give them to him. No one else would want them. Yet it seems wrong to dispose of them. So they sit in the box, mostly forgotten.
I'm not sure why I'm writing this post - I haven't been planning it, but I woke up at 4 a.m. to a sound like a book or something falling over in the closet and the heater having turned on and blowing a bit too hot, and as I got up, gradually the urge was there. I find it hard just to say or write the word sometimes. And to mention his name, or to remember any memory that has him in it, no matter how mundane, because I don't know how I should feel about them, and especially to speak those memories, because I think most people don't want to hear about it. I'm normally a very calm person. So when I'm suddenly crying I am so surprised and shocked and confused as to why. I have to try to figure it out, why am I feeling this way? My life is just fine, and while I'm sorry over many horrible affairs going on in the world past and present, they're not the ultimate cause. Some of it is just chemistry, but some of it is things long past and not part of my life anymore, so it is amazing to me how it can suddenly be there when I thought it was resolved. And then leave against just as quickly, for no apparent reason either way. However a large part of my past in reality is something hidden away in a forgotten box.
I've never really talked about my divorce with anyone, no family or friend. It feels like you did something very wrong, like you had a great failure, like your worth to the world has become less, to have that descriptor attached to your name. I feel bad when I fill out all those various demographic forms for various things and the marital status box comes up, trying to figure out which box I should check. If single is an option, I always pick that one, but some of them that isn't an option, only "never married". Then I think of my family. My mother loves to talk about her children, but what mother wants to tell people about her daughter's situation like that? Unfortunately, my mother's friends know about it well, because one of them helped me in the end.
We had met in college. I wasn't looking, but it happened nonetheless. Eventually we got married. The nikah was pronounced by some people I knew up in British Columbia and they phoned to tell us it was done. The U.S. legal marriage was done before a judge here in town. I had just started a new job in Denver and he was still living in Oklahoma. I had to drive down from work on a Friday afternoon, no time to get ready, and stand before the judge with him and my parents. Then we went to dinner somewhere and that was it. I don't like being the center of a spectacle, but was the understatedness of our wedding not just because of that, but because of some underlying current of its impending failure?
Afterward, plans that were made for us to unite in one place never happened. There was always a reason that he couldn't finish his degree or that he couldn't tell his family. I had taken the job in Denver for him because he had said he preferred to live there, but when he never showed up, I tired of being away from anyone I knew if I didn't have to and went back to Colorado Springs to work. Still he didn't come, but I waited. He finished his two year degree in about five years if I remember correctly. He said he was coming. He showed up without his stuff, and having missed the deadline to file papers to start a new degree here. He didn't have a work visa and said he didn't want to sit around and do nothing for 6 months until the next school term, so he went home to visit his family. I never saw him again. Eventually I did hear from him, but I waited months. He said his family had taken his passport and he was trying to get a new one to come back. I often wondered what it was that made him stay away all those years and then leave and never come back. What was it I did or didn't do, had or didn't have? I realize this truth at least - his going or staying was never in my control. Nothing I might have been or done would've mattered.
He had disappeared once long before we had our nikah, shortly after we first met, saying that his embassy had transferred him to a new school against his wishes and he had been trying to figure out a way to tell me. I never had thought it wasn't the truth, but later looking back I was so confused over what was true and what wasn't that I have no idea anymore. Later, I often wondered how much of a gullible fool I was, or how much I should continue to believe and trust - after all, he was my husband. At the time, I believed everything,and thought there were just some unfortunate circumstances. It didn't occur to me that perhaps his intentions all along had been to just take a companion while he studied here and then leave. It was clearly more complicated than he realized at the beginning, because he made himself seriously physically and mentally ill, incapacitated and unable to function, over what was happening in his life. He told me it was because his family was pressuring him. He couldn't wash whatever he was going through off his skin, after spending half a day in the shower, ice cold, with his skin rubbed red raw. Half the things he owned he couldn't touch because to him they were najis. He had mold growing thick on his apartment walls from water that he poured or spilled in his obsession, but he couldn't stop his obsession nor get clean.
After he had gone home, I had no way of contacting him there for most of that time - he would give me no number or address because he didn't want his family to have contact with me at all. After a considerable time he got a cell phone and might call me or allow me to call him on his cell. I knew that sometimes I was being lied to, because his stories changed. But I just didn't know what the truth was. I suspected that if he wanted to come back he could. But he didn't want to. But he said he did - maybe he was telling the truth. Yet he didn't want me to go there, either, in my own best interest, although at the very end he waffled a bit about that. And at that point, I didn't even feel safe to consider going there - I felt he would never stand up for me and I wasn't even sure who he really was anymore. He showed no movement toward coming back, but he didn't want to divorce me. I waited even longer because I couldn't bring myself to be the bad guy, the one who doomed it all after in the very end what was ten years - all of my adult life - invested with him.
But eventually, after several years, I reached my breaking point. I felt I couldn't stand to live another day in limbo and needed finality. What's more, I needed to have hope for myself. It took great effort, because it was never spoken of in my family, but one night I told my mom I wanted to get a divorce. She works with lawyers and knows a lot more about many aspects of the world than I do, so I knew she would be able to tell me what I had to do. One of her friends at work who really cares for my mom took my case pro bono. He had never done a divorce case before as he is in a different legal field. I had to file an intent to divorce notice in the local paper of my husband's last known address in Oklahoma, because I didn't know where he was. I did manage to get one phone call through to my husband before all this, telling him of my need for closure that was overwhelming me. He eventually said his permission for divorce but that he would not have anything to do with it himself. From then on, I had lost all contact with him. I had to appear in court before a judge and appear on a witness stand and be questioned about the circumstances in front of my mom by her friend while the judge also questioned and listened. My mom's friend told me it was most likely only a formality, but still it felt so humiliating. The judge granted the divorce. As far as my mom was concerned, I was free.
But I wasn't. The nikah was still in effect. In some ways I felt worse than before. Before I could say I was married. That was how things were supposed to be. Now, to some people I was divorced but I was really not free to move on. It took me a long time to find an 'alim who would address the case. I don't know many 'alims to begin with, living in a rather isolated place, never having been an integral part of any Muslim community. It wasn't a case people wanted to deal with because my husband was not around to answer their questions or give/verify permission for divorce. All I had was an old cell phone number that was never answered, but that's what I gave the 'alim. The 'alim's actions were to every now and then try to contact my husband. I waited again. It was less than a year later when I got the news. I felt like I had waited a lifetime but at the same time I felt lucky because I heard stories of some women who waited many, many years. Somehow the 'alim had found my husband, and he had given permission for divorce. I never heard any more about what happened, except that the 'alim had done the divorce.
I felt both relief and grief, and felt the future looming before me. I had no idea how to go forward from that place. I was ready to start looking - I had been alone essentially all of the time that I was married, especially the last several years as most of it he wasn't even in the same country. But I also felt damaged. I had never intimately seen a good marriage. Before I went to college, I was frightened of marriage because what I had seen had been truly terrorizing. But I did it anyway, and it failed, and now I was thirty. Is it possible to do something right without having seen it or done it before?
One day I was going through some papers and found my ex-husband's cell phone number. I called, still seeking more closure, still wanting to know the truth. And he answered. He wouldn't answer all those other times, but now he did. He said he had not remarried. He told me about his job. He said his English language skills were helping him a lot. He told me his brother married a non-Muslim European girl he had dated for years. But I couldn't confront him about all the things that he said and all that happened, and so I guess I'll never know the truth of what really happened - what was truth and what was fiction; I'm not sure he would've been willing to tell me anyway. I don't have the number anymore.
So since then I've lived my life and sought a soul mate. While I have looked, I have not enjoyed the process. It is too messy to think of someone as a potential spouse, and then have things not work out for one reason or another. I never wanted more than one man in my life, ever. Just the right one. Maybe I was the reason - was I too picky, too impatient, or too damaged? Lots of people started telling me I had better hurry and get married. I only have so many childbearing years left. Every year that passes I become less desirable to a decent suitor. I was told that I should give up everything in my life - my family, my work, my home, my belongings, my stability, to marry someone I didn't know and wasn't sure about. This is what is expected of women and if I felt any reluctance to do so, there was a problem with my deen. But I didn't feel secure enough to do so. And after trying so hard to restore my relationship with my family after my conversion and succeeding, I didn't want to risk tearing that down again if I didn't have to. I was also told that I should not choose a suitor based on my heart at all, but only my head. If he looked good on paper, get married, then get to know him, and maybe love will follow. I looked for truth in all these comments and tried to learn and tried to see if I was off base, always questioning myself. Sometimes I listened even though my instinct said different than what I was reading or being told, and later I would wish I had trusted my instinct.
I also didn't know what to think about some of the interest I did get - lots of people half my age or twice my age overseas. Lots of married men. Lots of people not too serious but looking to have fun. But also lots of people who were not too different from me, yet my heart just didn't feel the way I thought it should in order to marry someone. Many times I have posted a profile and then removed it, finding it too much to manage. Then put it back after awhile, then taken it down again. I felt a lot of mistakes in this process - especially when things got further in process before deciding to move on. While sometimes I have felt failure, I still don't believe I ultimately failed; I am used to success in what I try to do, by the grace of God - I believe things happen for a reason and that I have always done my best and tried to do right, and I keep learning. So I don't think I would change anything even though I may still feel pain and confusion sometimes.
I feel hope. Maybe through this I am learning to understand what I want and need and will be better able to appreciate true love in my life and appreciate the person who may love me and I love him, too. Just as we are, imperfect, but great together. For I have seen that such a thing is truly a blessing and wonderful gift. Sometimes I have doubted - being pragmatic. In reality I know that not everyone ends up with a good marriage, a loving husband, and healthy, happy, good children. And I also know that I could lead a good enough life no matter what happens for me about marriage. After all, my life right now is "good enough" for me - I have a lot to be thankful for.
But deep inside me, I always felt everything good would happen to me - deep inside me I expect it from God and believe it will happen when and how it is supposed to. And although I have at times doubted, I also expect and believe that I can still freely give my love, and that this is more important to me than getting it back. And although sometimes giving love ends up with hurt, giving love has the best possible returns. Giving love is liberating for the heart and soul, it is elevating. I am hopeful that I will give lots of love and make someone know he is loved, and make children know love - insha'allah. Miracles have unfolded in my life before - how else would I be Shia today, would my father be alive, would I have received the money to go to college, and so much more? Thank you God for your great blessings in my life that continue always. I am very grateful for the guidance and blessings I have received and continue to receive. I pray that I may be a blessing in someone else's life, more so with every passing day, as long as I live.
I'm not sure why I'm writing this post - I haven't been planning it, but I woke up at 4 a.m. to a sound like a book or something falling over in the closet and the heater having turned on and blowing a bit too hot, and as I got up, gradually the urge was there. I find it hard just to say or write the word sometimes. And to mention his name, or to remember any memory that has him in it, no matter how mundane, because I don't know how I should feel about them, and especially to speak those memories, because I think most people don't want to hear about it. I'm normally a very calm person. So when I'm suddenly crying I am so surprised and shocked and confused as to why. I have to try to figure it out, why am I feeling this way? My life is just fine, and while I'm sorry over many horrible affairs going on in the world past and present, they're not the ultimate cause. Some of it is just chemistry, but some of it is things long past and not part of my life anymore, so it is amazing to me how it can suddenly be there when I thought it was resolved. And then leave against just as quickly, for no apparent reason either way. However a large part of my past in reality is something hidden away in a forgotten box.
I've never really talked about my divorce with anyone, no family or friend. It feels like you did something very wrong, like you had a great failure, like your worth to the world has become less, to have that descriptor attached to your name. I feel bad when I fill out all those various demographic forms for various things and the marital status box comes up, trying to figure out which box I should check. If single is an option, I always pick that one, but some of them that isn't an option, only "never married". Then I think of my family. My mother loves to talk about her children, but what mother wants to tell people about her daughter's situation like that? Unfortunately, my mother's friends know about it well, because one of them helped me in the end.
We had met in college. I wasn't looking, but it happened nonetheless. Eventually we got married. The nikah was pronounced by some people I knew up in British Columbia and they phoned to tell us it was done. The U.S. legal marriage was done before a judge here in town. I had just started a new job in Denver and he was still living in Oklahoma. I had to drive down from work on a Friday afternoon, no time to get ready, and stand before the judge with him and my parents. Then we went to dinner somewhere and that was it. I don't like being the center of a spectacle, but was the understatedness of our wedding not just because of that, but because of some underlying current of its impending failure?
Afterward, plans that were made for us to unite in one place never happened. There was always a reason that he couldn't finish his degree or that he couldn't tell his family. I had taken the job in Denver for him because he had said he preferred to live there, but when he never showed up, I tired of being away from anyone I knew if I didn't have to and went back to Colorado Springs to work. Still he didn't come, but I waited. He finished his two year degree in about five years if I remember correctly. He said he was coming. He showed up without his stuff, and having missed the deadline to file papers to start a new degree here. He didn't have a work visa and said he didn't want to sit around and do nothing for 6 months until the next school term, so he went home to visit his family. I never saw him again. Eventually I did hear from him, but I waited months. He said his family had taken his passport and he was trying to get a new one to come back. I often wondered what it was that made him stay away all those years and then leave and never come back. What was it I did or didn't do, had or didn't have? I realize this truth at least - his going or staying was never in my control. Nothing I might have been or done would've mattered.
He had disappeared once long before we had our nikah, shortly after we first met, saying that his embassy had transferred him to a new school against his wishes and he had been trying to figure out a way to tell me. I never had thought it wasn't the truth, but later looking back I was so confused over what was true and what wasn't that I have no idea anymore. Later, I often wondered how much of a gullible fool I was, or how much I should continue to believe and trust - after all, he was my husband. At the time, I believed everything,and thought there were just some unfortunate circumstances. It didn't occur to me that perhaps his intentions all along had been to just take a companion while he studied here and then leave. It was clearly more complicated than he realized at the beginning, because he made himself seriously physically and mentally ill, incapacitated and unable to function, over what was happening in his life. He told me it was because his family was pressuring him. He couldn't wash whatever he was going through off his skin, after spending half a day in the shower, ice cold, with his skin rubbed red raw. Half the things he owned he couldn't touch because to him they were najis. He had mold growing thick on his apartment walls from water that he poured or spilled in his obsession, but he couldn't stop his obsession nor get clean.
After he had gone home, I had no way of contacting him there for most of that time - he would give me no number or address because he didn't want his family to have contact with me at all. After a considerable time he got a cell phone and might call me or allow me to call him on his cell. I knew that sometimes I was being lied to, because his stories changed. But I just didn't know what the truth was. I suspected that if he wanted to come back he could. But he didn't want to. But he said he did - maybe he was telling the truth. Yet he didn't want me to go there, either, in my own best interest, although at the very end he waffled a bit about that. And at that point, I didn't even feel safe to consider going there - I felt he would never stand up for me and I wasn't even sure who he really was anymore. He showed no movement toward coming back, but he didn't want to divorce me. I waited even longer because I couldn't bring myself to be the bad guy, the one who doomed it all after in the very end what was ten years - all of my adult life - invested with him.
But eventually, after several years, I reached my breaking point. I felt I couldn't stand to live another day in limbo and needed finality. What's more, I needed to have hope for myself. It took great effort, because it was never spoken of in my family, but one night I told my mom I wanted to get a divorce. She works with lawyers and knows a lot more about many aspects of the world than I do, so I knew she would be able to tell me what I had to do. One of her friends at work who really cares for my mom took my case pro bono. He had never done a divorce case before as he is in a different legal field. I had to file an intent to divorce notice in the local paper of my husband's last known address in Oklahoma, because I didn't know where he was. I did manage to get one phone call through to my husband before all this, telling him of my need for closure that was overwhelming me. He eventually said his permission for divorce but that he would not have anything to do with it himself. From then on, I had lost all contact with him. I had to appear in court before a judge and appear on a witness stand and be questioned about the circumstances in front of my mom by her friend while the judge also questioned and listened. My mom's friend told me it was most likely only a formality, but still it felt so humiliating. The judge granted the divorce. As far as my mom was concerned, I was free.
But I wasn't. The nikah was still in effect. In some ways I felt worse than before. Before I could say I was married. That was how things were supposed to be. Now, to some people I was divorced but I was really not free to move on. It took me a long time to find an 'alim who would address the case. I don't know many 'alims to begin with, living in a rather isolated place, never having been an integral part of any Muslim community. It wasn't a case people wanted to deal with because my husband was not around to answer their questions or give/verify permission for divorce. All I had was an old cell phone number that was never answered, but that's what I gave the 'alim. The 'alim's actions were to every now and then try to contact my husband. I waited again. It was less than a year later when I got the news. I felt like I had waited a lifetime but at the same time I felt lucky because I heard stories of some women who waited many, many years. Somehow the 'alim had found my husband, and he had given permission for divorce. I never heard any more about what happened, except that the 'alim had done the divorce.
I felt both relief and grief, and felt the future looming before me. I had no idea how to go forward from that place. I was ready to start looking - I had been alone essentially all of the time that I was married, especially the last several years as most of it he wasn't even in the same country. But I also felt damaged. I had never intimately seen a good marriage. Before I went to college, I was frightened of marriage because what I had seen had been truly terrorizing. But I did it anyway, and it failed, and now I was thirty. Is it possible to do something right without having seen it or done it before?
One day I was going through some papers and found my ex-husband's cell phone number. I called, still seeking more closure, still wanting to know the truth. And he answered. He wouldn't answer all those other times, but now he did. He said he had not remarried. He told me about his job. He said his English language skills were helping him a lot. He told me his brother married a non-Muslim European girl he had dated for years. But I couldn't confront him about all the things that he said and all that happened, and so I guess I'll never know the truth of what really happened - what was truth and what was fiction; I'm not sure he would've been willing to tell me anyway. I don't have the number anymore.
So since then I've lived my life and sought a soul mate. While I have looked, I have not enjoyed the process. It is too messy to think of someone as a potential spouse, and then have things not work out for one reason or another. I never wanted more than one man in my life, ever. Just the right one. Maybe I was the reason - was I too picky, too impatient, or too damaged? Lots of people started telling me I had better hurry and get married. I only have so many childbearing years left. Every year that passes I become less desirable to a decent suitor. I was told that I should give up everything in my life - my family, my work, my home, my belongings, my stability, to marry someone I didn't know and wasn't sure about. This is what is expected of women and if I felt any reluctance to do so, there was a problem with my deen. But I didn't feel secure enough to do so. And after trying so hard to restore my relationship with my family after my conversion and succeeding, I didn't want to risk tearing that down again if I didn't have to. I was also told that I should not choose a suitor based on my heart at all, but only my head. If he looked good on paper, get married, then get to know him, and maybe love will follow. I looked for truth in all these comments and tried to learn and tried to see if I was off base, always questioning myself. Sometimes I listened even though my instinct said different than what I was reading or being told, and later I would wish I had trusted my instinct.
I also didn't know what to think about some of the interest I did get - lots of people half my age or twice my age overseas. Lots of married men. Lots of people not too serious but looking to have fun. But also lots of people who were not too different from me, yet my heart just didn't feel the way I thought it should in order to marry someone. Many times I have posted a profile and then removed it, finding it too much to manage. Then put it back after awhile, then taken it down again. I felt a lot of mistakes in this process - especially when things got further in process before deciding to move on. While sometimes I have felt failure, I still don't believe I ultimately failed; I am used to success in what I try to do, by the grace of God - I believe things happen for a reason and that I have always done my best and tried to do right, and I keep learning. So I don't think I would change anything even though I may still feel pain and confusion sometimes.
I feel hope. Maybe through this I am learning to understand what I want and need and will be better able to appreciate true love in my life and appreciate the person who may love me and I love him, too. Just as we are, imperfect, but great together. For I have seen that such a thing is truly a blessing and wonderful gift. Sometimes I have doubted - being pragmatic. In reality I know that not everyone ends up with a good marriage, a loving husband, and healthy, happy, good children. And I also know that I could lead a good enough life no matter what happens for me about marriage. After all, my life right now is "good enough" for me - I have a lot to be thankful for.
But deep inside me, I always felt everything good would happen to me - deep inside me I expect it from God and believe it will happen when and how it is supposed to. And although I have at times doubted, I also expect and believe that I can still freely give my love, and that this is more important to me than getting it back. And although sometimes giving love ends up with hurt, giving love has the best possible returns. Giving love is liberating for the heart and soul, it is elevating. I am hopeful that I will give lots of love and make someone know he is loved, and make children know love - insha'allah. Miracles have unfolded in my life before - how else would I be Shia today, would my father be alive, would I have received the money to go to college, and so much more? Thank you God for your great blessings in my life that continue always. I am very grateful for the guidance and blessings I have received and continue to receive. I pray that I may be a blessing in someone else's life, more so with every passing day, as long as I live.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Happy Thanksgiving
Thankfulness
With every breath you take, a thanksgiving is incumbent upon you, indeed, a thousand thanks or more. The lowest level of gratitude is to see that the blessing comes from Allah irrespective of the cause for it, and without the heart being attached to that cause. It consists of being satisfied with what is given; it means not disobeying Him with regard to His blessing, or opposing Him in any of His commands and prohibitions because of His blessing.
Be a grateful bondsman to Allah in every way, and you will find that Allah is a generous Lord in every way. If there were a way of worshipping Allah for His sincerest bondsman to follow more excellent than giving thanks at every instance, He would have ascribed to them the name of this worship above the rest of creation. Since there is no form of worship better than that, He has singled out this kind of worship from other kinds of worship, and has singled out those who practise this kind of worship, saying,
وَقَلِيلٌ مِّنْ عِبَادِيَ الشَّكُورُ
Very few of my servants are grateful. (34:13)
Complete thankfulness is to sincerely repent your inability to convey the least amount of gratitude, and expressing this by means of your sincere glorification of Allah. This is because fitting thanks is itself a blessing bestowed upon the bondsman for which he must also give thanks; it is of greater merit and of a higher state than the original blessing which caused him to respond with thanks in the first place. Therefore, every time one gives thanks one is obliged to give yet greater thanks, and so on ad infinitum, and this while absorbed in His blessings and unable to achieve the ultimate state of gratitude. For how can the bondsman match with gratitude the blessings of Allah, and when will he match his own action with Allah's while all along the bondsman is weak and has no power whatsoever, except from Allah?
Allah is not in need of the obedience of His bondsmen, for He has the power to increase blessings forever. Therefore be a grateful bondsman to Allah, and in this manner you will see wonders.
--From Imam Sadiq (as) in Lantern of the Path.
With every breath you take, a thanksgiving is incumbent upon you, indeed, a thousand thanks or more. The lowest level of gratitude is to see that the blessing comes from Allah irrespective of the cause for it, and without the heart being attached to that cause. It consists of being satisfied with what is given; it means not disobeying Him with regard to His blessing, or opposing Him in any of His commands and prohibitions because of His blessing.
Be a grateful bondsman to Allah in every way, and you will find that Allah is a generous Lord in every way. If there were a way of worshipping Allah for His sincerest bondsman to follow more excellent than giving thanks at every instance, He would have ascribed to them the name of this worship above the rest of creation. Since there is no form of worship better than that, He has singled out this kind of worship from other kinds of worship, and has singled out those who practise this kind of worship, saying,
وَقَلِيلٌ مِّنْ عِبَادِيَ الشَّكُورُ
Very few of my servants are grateful. (34:13)
Complete thankfulness is to sincerely repent your inability to convey the least amount of gratitude, and expressing this by means of your sincere glorification of Allah. This is because fitting thanks is itself a blessing bestowed upon the bondsman for which he must also give thanks; it is of greater merit and of a higher state than the original blessing which caused him to respond with thanks in the first place. Therefore, every time one gives thanks one is obliged to give yet greater thanks, and so on ad infinitum, and this while absorbed in His blessings and unable to achieve the ultimate state of gratitude. For how can the bondsman match with gratitude the blessings of Allah, and when will he match his own action with Allah's while all along the bondsman is weak and has no power whatsoever, except from Allah?
Allah is not in need of the obedience of His bondsmen, for He has the power to increase blessings forever. Therefore be a grateful bondsman to Allah, and in this manner you will see wonders.
--From Imam Sadiq (as) in Lantern of the Path.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
NOVA Intelligent Design On Trial
Nova's latest episode was a two-hour documentary of the court case in Dover, Pennsylvania about teaching Intelligent Design as an alternative to evolutionary theory. I used to teach science in middle school - biology- and this issue came up for me then. I taught at a school with a good portion of its clientele being Christians who believe that Earth is a few thousand years old, fossils were put into the Earth as they are and were never living creatures, and that other galaxies cannot be billions of light years away because the universe is also only a few thousand years old. I'm a religious person myself and also a lover of science and the pursuit of Truth, and like many other people, I think that if both religion and science are accurate on a certain point that they both happen to speak about in some way, then there will be no conflict. But some people thrive on creating fitna and conflict. On this and many other issues, I have experienced that first hand and yet I am still always a bit shocked by it, and deeply saddened.
Anyway, I watched the episode and found it to be very interesting. I've always been a fan of NOVA - I was one of those lucky kids who grew up with much of her early years in the absence of cable TV so we watched PBS instead. But, now that I have cable I still watch the same kind of shows I did then for the most part. I do find it interesting how there are a lot of science-light or pseudo-science shows out there that present as science but aren't really quite there, because ultimately they're about entertainment. And the same thing for shows on religion - I see the same phenomenon in that arena, too.
Anyway, I watched the episode and found it to be very interesting. I've always been a fan of NOVA - I was one of those lucky kids who grew up with much of her early years in the absence of cable TV so we watched PBS instead. But, now that I have cable I still watch the same kind of shows I did then for the most part. I do find it interesting how there are a lot of science-light or pseudo-science shows out there that present as science but aren't really quite there, because ultimately they're about entertainment. And the same thing for shows on religion - I see the same phenomenon in that arena, too.
Monday, November 12, 2007
Free Rice
This is cool! A novel take on the general idea started by the Hunger Site years ago....
You can improve your vocabulary and maybe help someone at the same time.
You can improve your vocabulary and maybe help someone at the same time.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
stones
I swear to Allah that He achieves His victory using you (the Shia) just as He used the stones.
Imam Ja’far Sadiq (as), Amaali of Tousi 1:167 and Bihar Al-Anwar 42:121
- ‘using stones’ refers to the Year of the Elephant when Abraha was trying to destroy the Kaaba. Allah sent an army of birds who carried stones and destroyed Abraha and his army of elephants.
Imam Ja’far Sadiq (as), Amaali of Tousi 1:167 and Bihar Al-Anwar 42:121
- ‘using stones’ refers to the Year of the Elephant when Abraha was trying to destroy the Kaaba. Allah sent an army of birds who carried stones and destroyed Abraha and his army of elephants.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Halloween
This guy is the best pumpkin carver I think I've ever seen - check out his carving!
I haven't carved a pumpkin in a long time. I remember the slimy guts and roasting the pumpkin seeds (yum!).
Tonight I'm manning the door (who else is there to do it?) giving out candy. A lot of kids take big handfuls these days if you let 'em. I have an assortment of Kit Kats, Hershey bars, Twizzlers and Jolly Ranchers. Oh, and halloween-themed plastic rings. Not as many kids as last year so far, and mostly younger ones. The best so far was a teenage boy dressed as a grandma who was acting the part, using an old lady voice, etc. But the older ones come later anyway. At the same time I'm watching Ghost Hunters live for a kick - they're revisiting the Waverly Sanatorium.
This weekend, insha'allah, I'm off to Atlanta for a weekend conference. Leaving Friday and coming back Monday. It has been a lot of work to try to get ready and take care of the usual work business as well. I have to leave right from school on Friday to the airport. I hope the conference will be useful. I'm giving tests for the sub to proctor on Monday. It is almost impossible to get a sub who can do math so we always have to write our plans accordingly. I will be hip deep in grading when I get back. I'm also out next Friday for another meeting of the same group going to Atlanta, and trying to make plans for a sub to handle then, as well, without getting behind. The days of not having every second scheduled in schools is long gone. Ten minutes misspent can mess you up for a semester if you're not careful.
I'm also, insha'allah, getting to meet a special friend in Atlanta on the evenings when I'm not in meetings, and I'm looking forward to that!
So anyway, have a great weekend if you don't hear from me sooner.
I haven't carved a pumpkin in a long time. I remember the slimy guts and roasting the pumpkin seeds (yum!).
Tonight I'm manning the door (who else is there to do it?) giving out candy. A lot of kids take big handfuls these days if you let 'em. I have an assortment of Kit Kats, Hershey bars, Twizzlers and Jolly Ranchers. Oh, and halloween-themed plastic rings. Not as many kids as last year so far, and mostly younger ones. The best so far was a teenage boy dressed as a grandma who was acting the part, using an old lady voice, etc. But the older ones come later anyway. At the same time I'm watching Ghost Hunters live for a kick - they're revisiting the Waverly Sanatorium.
This weekend, insha'allah, I'm off to Atlanta for a weekend conference. Leaving Friday and coming back Monday. It has been a lot of work to try to get ready and take care of the usual work business as well. I have to leave right from school on Friday to the airport. I hope the conference will be useful. I'm giving tests for the sub to proctor on Monday. It is almost impossible to get a sub who can do math so we always have to write our plans accordingly. I will be hip deep in grading when I get back. I'm also out next Friday for another meeting of the same group going to Atlanta, and trying to make plans for a sub to handle then, as well, without getting behind. The days of not having every second scheduled in schools is long gone. Ten minutes misspent can mess you up for a semester if you're not careful.
I'm also, insha'allah, getting to meet a special friend in Atlanta on the evenings when I'm not in meetings, and I'm looking forward to that!
So anyway, have a great weekend if you don't hear from me sooner.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Love of God - Sayyid Baqr al-Sadr
The Love of Allah
Written by Ayat. Muhammad Baqir as-Sadr
"One can either love Allah or love the world. But both the loves cannot be contained in one heart. Let us submit our hearts to test. Let us examine our hearts to see whether the love of Allah or the love of this world prevails over them. If the love of Allah prevails over our hearts, let us make it deeper. If, Allah forbid, the love of this world prevails, let us try to save ourselves from this dreadful malady."
"Every love which occupies the centre of the heart of a person is of either of the two kinds. We call the perfect love the double grade love and the love which is not so perfect, the single grade love. To begin with, (single grade) love becomes the basis of man's sentiments, feelings, emotions and desires. After attending to his job or immediate need, man soon returns to his object of love, because love occupies the centre of his thoughts, feelings and sentiments."
"In the case of double grade love, man's entire attention is drawn by the object of his love and nothing can divert his attention from it. He is never inattentive to the thought of his beloved."
"Both these kinds of love are found in the case of the noble love of Allah. Single grade love appears in the hearts of the pious believers whose hearts are free from the impurities of the base affairs of this world. As soon as they are free from their immediate engagements, they return to the question which is the object of their love."
"As for double grade love, it is found in the hearts of the Prophets and Imams. You all know Imam Ali ibn Abi Talib, in the vicinity of whose tomb we live (Najaf). This great man has said "I never saw a thing but I saw Allah before it, after it and along with it". (Qablahu, wa ba'dahu wa ma'ahu)."
"In fact, this was because love of Allah occupied his great heart and conscience in such a way that it concealed everything else from him. Even when he saw human beings, he saw Allah. When he looked at Allah's bounties, he remembered Him. This bond with Allah was always present before his eyes, for it was Allah alone whom he truly loved and to whom his hopes and aspirations were directed. He never allowed anyone to divert his attention from Allah".
"Love of the world also reaches the stage where man does not see anything but the world before it, after it and along with it. Whatever he does, he does it for some wordly gain. He cannot devote himself to pious deeds for more than a few days. This is double grade love of the world. Imam Sadiq has said, "This world is like sea water. The more one drinks of it, the more one gets thirsty."
"It was love of Allah that was the basis of Imam Ali's courage and bravery. His courage was not that of a ferocious beast. It was the courage produced by the faith and love of Allah. He was over 60 when he fought against the Khwarij and in a single engagement killed 4000 of them. He was also at the height of bravery in regard to being patient and not pressing his rightful claim. He kept quiet when he was required by Allah to overlook his right. At that time, he was in the prime of his life. His conscience was aflame with the fire of youth. But Islam had told him to keep quiet and be patient, despite the violation of his rights."
"After all what is this world of ours? It is a collection of imaginery and fictional things. Harun-al-Rashid's world was very imposing. We curse him day and night. We say that we are better, more pious and more God-fearing than Harun was. Has the world of Harun-al-Rashid been offered to us and have we rejected it? If not, how can we claim to be more pious than him. The world offered to us is not that of Harun. It is much less limited and comparably insignificant. It is transient and shorter and not as vast and extensive as that of Harun. For the sake of this world, he imprisoned Imam Musa-e-Kazim. Are we sure that if we get that world, we would not throw the Imam into prison? Have we tested ourselves and put this question to ourselves? Has the world of Harun ever been offered to us so that we know we are more pious?"
"In our world, there can be no truth except that of Allah's good pleasure. Had the Imam worked for worldly gains, he would have been the most miserable person. Yet when he worked for Allah, he said on his deathbed "By the God of the Ka'aba, I am a successful person". This world is not for the students of theology. A student looking for this world can get neither this world nor the next. Therefore, it is incumbent upon us, as students, to confine our efforts to seeking the next world for this world has no value to us".
"We should think any moment as possible for our death. At the time of his death, my father was not as old as I was (1). My brother died at a younger age than I did. I have now completed the span of my lifetime (2)."
"We ask Allah to purify our hearts, and to brighten them with faith. May He turn our mind more towards seeking His pleasure and fill or hearts with His love, His fear and belief in Him. May he help us according to the teachings of his book, Ameen."
Ayatullah Baqir Sadr.
- 1 Sayyid Sadr was 47 to 48 years old when he said this.
- 2 Sayyid Sadr was executed, along with his sister Bint-al-Huda, a few months later.
Written by Ayat. Muhammad Baqir as-Sadr
"One can either love Allah or love the world. But both the loves cannot be contained in one heart. Let us submit our hearts to test. Let us examine our hearts to see whether the love of Allah or the love of this world prevails over them. If the love of Allah prevails over our hearts, let us make it deeper. If, Allah forbid, the love of this world prevails, let us try to save ourselves from this dreadful malady."
"Every love which occupies the centre of the heart of a person is of either of the two kinds. We call the perfect love the double grade love and the love which is not so perfect, the single grade love. To begin with, (single grade) love becomes the basis of man's sentiments, feelings, emotions and desires. After attending to his job or immediate need, man soon returns to his object of love, because love occupies the centre of his thoughts, feelings and sentiments."
"In the case of double grade love, man's entire attention is drawn by the object of his love and nothing can divert his attention from it. He is never inattentive to the thought of his beloved."
"Both these kinds of love are found in the case of the noble love of Allah. Single grade love appears in the hearts of the pious believers whose hearts are free from the impurities of the base affairs of this world. As soon as they are free from their immediate engagements, they return to the question which is the object of their love."
"As for double grade love, it is found in the hearts of the Prophets and Imams. You all know Imam Ali ibn Abi Talib, in the vicinity of whose tomb we live (Najaf). This great man has said "I never saw a thing but I saw Allah before it, after it and along with it". (Qablahu, wa ba'dahu wa ma'ahu)."
"In fact, this was because love of Allah occupied his great heart and conscience in such a way that it concealed everything else from him. Even when he saw human beings, he saw Allah. When he looked at Allah's bounties, he remembered Him. This bond with Allah was always present before his eyes, for it was Allah alone whom he truly loved and to whom his hopes and aspirations were directed. He never allowed anyone to divert his attention from Allah".
"Love of the world also reaches the stage where man does not see anything but the world before it, after it and along with it. Whatever he does, he does it for some wordly gain. He cannot devote himself to pious deeds for more than a few days. This is double grade love of the world. Imam Sadiq has said, "This world is like sea water. The more one drinks of it, the more one gets thirsty."
"It was love of Allah that was the basis of Imam Ali's courage and bravery. His courage was not that of a ferocious beast. It was the courage produced by the faith and love of Allah. He was over 60 when he fought against the Khwarij and in a single engagement killed 4000 of them. He was also at the height of bravery in regard to being patient and not pressing his rightful claim. He kept quiet when he was required by Allah to overlook his right. At that time, he was in the prime of his life. His conscience was aflame with the fire of youth. But Islam had told him to keep quiet and be patient, despite the violation of his rights."
"After all what is this world of ours? It is a collection of imaginery and fictional things. Harun-al-Rashid's world was very imposing. We curse him day and night. We say that we are better, more pious and more God-fearing than Harun was. Has the world of Harun-al-Rashid been offered to us and have we rejected it? If not, how can we claim to be more pious than him. The world offered to us is not that of Harun. It is much less limited and comparably insignificant. It is transient and shorter and not as vast and extensive as that of Harun. For the sake of this world, he imprisoned Imam Musa-e-Kazim. Are we sure that if we get that world, we would not throw the Imam into prison? Have we tested ourselves and put this question to ourselves? Has the world of Harun ever been offered to us so that we know we are more pious?"
"In our world, there can be no truth except that of Allah's good pleasure. Had the Imam worked for worldly gains, he would have been the most miserable person. Yet when he worked for Allah, he said on his deathbed "By the God of the Ka'aba, I am a successful person". This world is not for the students of theology. A student looking for this world can get neither this world nor the next. Therefore, it is incumbent upon us, as students, to confine our efforts to seeking the next world for this world has no value to us".
"We should think any moment as possible for our death. At the time of his death, my father was not as old as I was (1). My brother died at a younger age than I did. I have now completed the span of my lifetime (2)."
"We ask Allah to purify our hearts, and to brighten them with faith. May He turn our mind more towards seeking His pleasure and fill or hearts with His love, His fear and belief in Him. May he help us according to the teachings of his book, Ameen."
Ayatullah Baqir Sadr.
- 1 Sayyid Sadr was 47 to 48 years old when he said this.
- 2 Sayyid Sadr was executed, along with his sister Bint-al-Huda, a few months later.
Love
Love is something pondered, sought after, and written about from time immemorial. It affects every person's view of the world and the affairs of his daily life.
The ancient Greeks had three words for different kinds of love:
philia - brotherly love (as seen in the name of the City of Brotherly Love, Philadelphia); this love is the loyalty and love between friends, or to one's community, etc.
eros - passionate attraction or love with desire and longing, although it can be platonic and does not have to be physical in nature.
agape - a general affection; may be associated with love of God, but also one's "love" of a hobby or food, as well as relationships between people.
In Arabic, there are similar words of love: hubb, which seems comparable to to agape, 'ishq, akin to eros, and wudd, most like philia.
One of Allah's names is al-Wadud, He who loves - related to wudd. It is written that God gives a general encompassing love to all His creation, demonstrated through many gifts of mercy, guidance, and providing. He also reserves a special, deeper love for those who turn to Him: He loves those who love Him (Qur'an 5:54), the doers of justice (5:42, 8:60, 9:49), and those who do good to others (5:13, 5:93, 3:134, 3:148, 2:195) in an ever-deepening return. I wrote in a previous post a few months back about the walayah love relationship between God and mankind.
Today I'm thinking about love between people, or between creatures.
"At last comes love which ousts all else:
Love undoes all sense of 'two';
Love makes all One,
Until no 'mine'
Nor 'thine'
Remain."
- Mahmud Shabistari
This is a sufi mystic interpretation of love - between a person and God, or between two people. The goal of the wayfarers is to lose themselves in God, to become metaphysically united with their Creator, so that there is no distinction between the person's desires and wants and the will of God.
In the love between people, the personhood of each individual remains distinct, for it is a partnership between relative equals, unlike the absolutely unequal relationship between God and man. God has no need from us. But we all have need of a manifestation of God's blessing through love of one another.
If two people love each other, then they make a decision and a commitment to serve one another, to pursue the happiness and pleasure of each other, to accept one another in reality and not just the ideal, to help one another, and to give and receive kindness between one another - all for the sake of the other, for the sake of the love itself, and most importantly for the sake and love of God - but not for the sake of wanting something in return, as if it is a price to be paid or a bargain to be made, for love is free for the giving and receiving.
Love is infinite - it doesn't run out when it is given. In fact, giving love makes love grow even more abundant. So why should we hold it back? Why should we withhold our affection from someone else, aside from the requirements of societal norms, gender relation boundaries, and ethics? Often, we fear rejection. But what is really lost in sharing one's love even if it is not returned? We can love selfishly or selflessly. The selfless love does not push itself on its intended but delights in an opportunity for genuine expression.
A movie I saw the other day (Dan in Real Life) had an interesting quote about love. A character said that love is not a feeling, it is an ability.
It is an ability we all have received from our Maker, but we have to choose to allow it space in our hearts. I do not know what determines the ultimate chemistry between two people, but I think aside from that chemistry, loving someone is a choice to allow the expression and reciprocation of affection and kindness. When I feel love for someone, I relish and enjoy and care for the entire being of that person. At no other time is living fully in the present so easy as in a moment of loving. Love is timeless.
There are many of you that I love and care about and I treasure your friendship. And this post is for all of you, and for someone special in mind as well. Praise be to God for love! :)
The ancient Greeks had three words for different kinds of love:
philia - brotherly love (as seen in the name of the City of Brotherly Love, Philadelphia); this love is the loyalty and love between friends, or to one's community, etc.
eros - passionate attraction or love with desire and longing, although it can be platonic and does not have to be physical in nature.
agape - a general affection; may be associated with love of God, but also one's "love" of a hobby or food, as well as relationships between people.
In Arabic, there are similar words of love: hubb, which seems comparable to to agape, 'ishq, akin to eros, and wudd, most like philia.
One of Allah's names is al-Wadud, He who loves - related to wudd. It is written that God gives a general encompassing love to all His creation, demonstrated through many gifts of mercy, guidance, and providing. He also reserves a special, deeper love for those who turn to Him: He loves those who love Him (Qur'an 5:54), the doers of justice (5:42, 8:60, 9:49), and those who do good to others (5:13, 5:93, 3:134, 3:148, 2:195) in an ever-deepening return. I wrote in a previous post a few months back about the walayah love relationship between God and mankind.
Today I'm thinking about love between people, or between creatures.
"At last comes love which ousts all else:
Love undoes all sense of 'two';
Love makes all One,
Until no 'mine'
Nor 'thine'
Remain."
- Mahmud Shabistari
This is a sufi mystic interpretation of love - between a person and God, or between two people. The goal of the wayfarers is to lose themselves in God, to become metaphysically united with their Creator, so that there is no distinction between the person's desires and wants and the will of God.
In the love between people, the personhood of each individual remains distinct, for it is a partnership between relative equals, unlike the absolutely unequal relationship between God and man. God has no need from us. But we all have need of a manifestation of God's blessing through love of one another.
If two people love each other, then they make a decision and a commitment to serve one another, to pursue the happiness and pleasure of each other, to accept one another in reality and not just the ideal, to help one another, and to give and receive kindness between one another - all for the sake of the other, for the sake of the love itself, and most importantly for the sake and love of God - but not for the sake of wanting something in return, as if it is a price to be paid or a bargain to be made, for love is free for the giving and receiving.
Love is infinite - it doesn't run out when it is given. In fact, giving love makes love grow even more abundant. So why should we hold it back? Why should we withhold our affection from someone else, aside from the requirements of societal norms, gender relation boundaries, and ethics? Often, we fear rejection. But what is really lost in sharing one's love even if it is not returned? We can love selfishly or selflessly. The selfless love does not push itself on its intended but delights in an opportunity for genuine expression.
A movie I saw the other day (Dan in Real Life) had an interesting quote about love. A character said that love is not a feeling, it is an ability.
It is an ability we all have received from our Maker, but we have to choose to allow it space in our hearts. I do not know what determines the ultimate chemistry between two people, but I think aside from that chemistry, loving someone is a choice to allow the expression and reciprocation of affection and kindness. When I feel love for someone, I relish and enjoy and care for the entire being of that person. At no other time is living fully in the present so easy as in a moment of loving. Love is timeless.
There are many of you that I love and care about and I treasure your friendship. And this post is for all of you, and for someone special in mind as well. Praise be to God for love! :)
Friday, October 26, 2007
Monday, October 22, 2007
Cotopaxi man found
Direct quote from krdo.com:
"Cotopaxi Man Missing Since September Found Dead
By Jenn DeHaan
j.dehaan@krdo.com
COTOPAXI - A man who has been the subject of a massive search since September 24 has been discovered dead. NEWSCHANNEL 13 has confirmed that the body of 63-year-old Gary Lorenz was found, reportedly sometime in the last few days.
While the Fremont County Sheriff's Office has now confirmed Lorenz's death, it was a NEWSCHANNEL 13 viewer that called in with the original tip. The viewer, who is being kept anonymous, says he was found on Saturday on a neighbor's property by a hunter. He tells NEWSCHANNEL 13 Lorenz's two golden retrievers, who were both last seen with him the day he disappeared, were still with the man, alive.
All of his information has proven accurate. Lorenz was found about 7 miles northwest of his home. His dogs were, in fact, still with him. His body was found by a hunter from Texas. The Sheriff's Office also reports that Lorenz apparently died from dehydration and exposure.
Lorenz was reported missing shortly after he was last seen as he was going out to check on some of his horses. His family had reported that Lorenz suffered from Alzheimer's Disease and could be in trouble. By the end of the first week, the search had grown to a 150-square-mile area with more than 70 volunteers and search team members. The search was then called off on October 10th, when Sheriff's deputies decided to take a more 'investigative' approach and examine other possibilities such as foul play."
So his dogs survived a month in the wild and stayed with him, that is pretty amazing. I'm glad he is found.
"Cotopaxi Man Missing Since September Found Dead
By Jenn DeHaan
j.dehaan@krdo.com
COTOPAXI - A man who has been the subject of a massive search since September 24 has been discovered dead. NEWSCHANNEL 13 has confirmed that the body of 63-year-old Gary Lorenz was found, reportedly sometime in the last few days.
While the Fremont County Sheriff's Office has now confirmed Lorenz's death, it was a NEWSCHANNEL 13 viewer that called in with the original tip. The viewer, who is being kept anonymous, says he was found on Saturday on a neighbor's property by a hunter. He tells NEWSCHANNEL 13 Lorenz's two golden retrievers, who were both last seen with him the day he disappeared, were still with the man, alive.
All of his information has proven accurate. Lorenz was found about 7 miles northwest of his home. His dogs were, in fact, still with him. His body was found by a hunter from Texas. The Sheriff's Office also reports that Lorenz apparently died from dehydration and exposure.
Lorenz was reported missing shortly after he was last seen as he was going out to check on some of his horses. His family had reported that Lorenz suffered from Alzheimer's Disease and could be in trouble. By the end of the first week, the search had grown to a 150-square-mile area with more than 70 volunteers and search team members. The search was then called off on October 10th, when Sheriff's deputies decided to take a more 'investigative' approach and examine other possibilities such as foul play."
So his dogs survived a month in the wild and stayed with him, that is pretty amazing. I'm glad he is found.
Friday, October 19, 2007
Amanah - Divine Trust
"God does not entrust anyone with intelligence without saving him thereby someday."
- Imam 'Ali, quoted in Living and Dying with Grace: Counsels of Hadrat Ali.
"Peace is absence of dissipation. Love is absence of hardness. Fallen man is hardness and dissipation...In the peace of the Lord, the waves of this dissipation are calmed and the soul is at rest in its primordial nature, in its center. Through love, the outer shell of the heart is melted like snow and the heart awakens from its death; hard, opaque and cold in the fallen state, it becomes liquid, transparent and aflame in the Divine life." Frithjof Schuon, Spiritual Perspectives and Human Facts
"The Islamic concept of Amanah or the Divine Trust derives scripturally from the following Qur'anic Verse, Al-Ahzab, 33:72 - 'We offered the Trust to the heavens and the earth and the mountains, but they refused to carry it and were afraid of it. And the human being carried it. Surely he is very ignorant, a great wrongdoer.' Humanity, being privileged by the grace of revelation and intellection to know the transcendent and to recognize creation as a manifestation of transcendence, also bears the responsibility of stewardship towards creation. This is an aspect of the principle of noblesse oblige. To know God is also to know all things in God, and God in all things, and to treat all God's creatures as sacred. The origin of morality is predicated on the discernment that 'all that lives is holy' (William Blake), which in turn is premised on the discernment of the sacred as the radiance of the divine That humanity in general is content to accept the privilege of its creaturely superiority without accepting the responsibility that such superiority confers, explains the Qur'anic comment at the end of the quoted verse." - Metaphysics of Human Governance: Imam 'Ali, Truth and Justice by M. Ali Lakhani in The Sacred Foundations of Justice in Islam: The Teachings of 'Ali ibn Abi Talib.
"Transmitted [naqli] knowledge is characterized by the fact that it needs to be passed from generation to generation. The only possible way to learn it is to receive it from someone else. In contrast, intellectual ['aqli] knowledge cannot be passed on, even though teachers are needed for its guidance in the right direction. The way to achieve it is to find it within oneself, by training the mind or, as many of the texts put it, 'polishing the heart.' Without uncovering such knowledge through self-discovery, one will depend on others in everything one knows." - Science of the Cosmos, Science of the Soul by William Chittick (I could go into a whole long aside about the politics of modern public education in this country and how people push for naqli, as opposed to 'aqli, teaching because it is 'traditional', not 'reform' and 'more efficient' - pushing for a society of citizens who possess passed-on knowledge and skills but lack training of mind, constructivist or creative thought, or the independence of self-discovery and discovery of nature. The students are to be deprived of discovering science and mathematics to truly own it and have the potential to lead in it in the future, but instead to acquire what the discoverers disseminate and follow them.)
- Imam 'Ali, quoted in Living and Dying with Grace: Counsels of Hadrat Ali.
"Peace is absence of dissipation. Love is absence of hardness. Fallen man is hardness and dissipation...In the peace of the Lord, the waves of this dissipation are calmed and the soul is at rest in its primordial nature, in its center. Through love, the outer shell of the heart is melted like snow and the heart awakens from its death; hard, opaque and cold in the fallen state, it becomes liquid, transparent and aflame in the Divine life." Frithjof Schuon, Spiritual Perspectives and Human Facts
"The Islamic concept of Amanah or the Divine Trust derives scripturally from the following Qur'anic Verse, Al-Ahzab, 33:72 - 'We offered the Trust to the heavens and the earth and the mountains, but they refused to carry it and were afraid of it. And the human being carried it. Surely he is very ignorant, a great wrongdoer.' Humanity, being privileged by the grace of revelation and intellection to know the transcendent and to recognize creation as a manifestation of transcendence, also bears the responsibility of stewardship towards creation. This is an aspect of the principle of noblesse oblige. To know God is also to know all things in God, and God in all things, and to treat all God's creatures as sacred. The origin of morality is predicated on the discernment that 'all that lives is holy' (William Blake), which in turn is premised on the discernment of the sacred as the radiance of the divine That humanity in general is content to accept the privilege of its creaturely superiority without accepting the responsibility that such superiority confers, explains the Qur'anic comment at the end of the quoted verse." - Metaphysics of Human Governance: Imam 'Ali, Truth and Justice by M. Ali Lakhani in The Sacred Foundations of Justice in Islam: The Teachings of 'Ali ibn Abi Talib.
"Transmitted [naqli] knowledge is characterized by the fact that it needs to be passed from generation to generation. The only possible way to learn it is to receive it from someone else. In contrast, intellectual ['aqli] knowledge cannot be passed on, even though teachers are needed for its guidance in the right direction. The way to achieve it is to find it within oneself, by training the mind or, as many of the texts put it, 'polishing the heart.' Without uncovering such knowledge through self-discovery, one will depend on others in everything one knows." - Science of the Cosmos, Science of the Soul by William Chittick (I could go into a whole long aside about the politics of modern public education in this country and how people push for naqli, as opposed to 'aqli, teaching because it is 'traditional', not 'reform' and 'more efficient' - pushing for a society of citizens who possess passed-on knowledge and skills but lack training of mind, constructivist or creative thought, or the independence of self-discovery and discovery of nature. The students are to be deprived of discovering science and mathematics to truly own it and have the potential to lead in it in the future, but instead to acquire what the discoverers disseminate and follow them.)
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Baseball is a very different kind of sport.
In many ways, it is more game or pastime than sport.
For one, any method of cheating you can get away with to get an advantage is encouraged and often considered part of the game.
stealing bases
pitchers and catchers covering their mouths when they talk so their lips won't be read
using secret hand signs and stealing signs of the other team
using pinch hitters
using designated hitters
pine tar on bats
corking bats
sliding to hit someone
It also has hilarious terminology.
dug-out
bullpen
screw ball
spit ball
fly ball
foul ball
safe!
mound
home plate
bases
short stop
you get out of an inning by getting outs
If a pitcher throws a ball, you don't want to swing at it
but if you fail to strike a ball with your bat, it's called a strike
It has very interesting behaviors and traditions you won't find in any other sport.
readjusting yourself
chewing bubblegum
eating sunflower seeds
tapping your feet with the bat
It is a very egalitarian, flexible and relaxed sport for player and fan alike.
organ music
seventh-inning stretch
foul ball do-overs
keep the homerun ball if you catch it
everyone from 4 to 80 can play
deep rosters and regular call-ups from the minor leagues during a season
different rules for different leagues depending on where you play- one league has designated hitters, the other doesn't
you get three outs and three strikes and four balls
no replay - just umpires and judges who say strange things like 'steeeerike!'
no field is the same as any other - different outfields, different backstops, etc.
no timeouts, just take the time you need and have a meeting on the mound
play 162 games a season (compare to football's 16!)
play other teams in series not just single games all the time
pretty much every town has a ball field
you don't need to be in great shape or wear tons of protection to play
you can play while standing around in a pretty green field on a beautiful day
It has so many ways to get into the game.
baseball cards and memorabilia
relatively cheap tickets
great fans
family friendly
sabremetrics
physics of baseball
scorecards
stats
fantasy leagues
little leagues
park and rec leagues
minor leagues
major leagues
school teams
work teams
I don't know a great deal about the game so I'm missing a lot. But it's clear there's so much going into the game beyond athleticism.
Go Rockies World Series 2007
For one, any method of cheating you can get away with to get an advantage is encouraged and often considered part of the game.
stealing bases
pitchers and catchers covering their mouths when they talk so their lips won't be read
using secret hand signs and stealing signs of the other team
using pinch hitters
using designated hitters
pine tar on bats
corking bats
sliding to hit someone
It also has hilarious terminology.
dug-out
bullpen
screw ball
spit ball
fly ball
foul ball
safe!
mound
home plate
bases
short stop
you get out of an inning by getting outs
If a pitcher throws a ball, you don't want to swing at it
but if you fail to strike a ball with your bat, it's called a strike
It has very interesting behaviors and traditions you won't find in any other sport.
readjusting yourself
chewing bubblegum
eating sunflower seeds
tapping your feet with the bat
It is a very egalitarian, flexible and relaxed sport for player and fan alike.
organ music
seventh-inning stretch
foul ball do-overs
keep the homerun ball if you catch it
everyone from 4 to 80 can play
deep rosters and regular call-ups from the minor leagues during a season
different rules for different leagues depending on where you play- one league has designated hitters, the other doesn't
you get three outs and three strikes and four balls
no replay - just umpires and judges who say strange things like 'steeeerike!'
no field is the same as any other - different outfields, different backstops, etc.
no timeouts, just take the time you need and have a meeting on the mound
play 162 games a season (compare to football's 16!)
play other teams in series not just single games all the time
pretty much every town has a ball field
you don't need to be in great shape or wear tons of protection to play
you can play while standing around in a pretty green field on a beautiful day
It has so many ways to get into the game.
baseball cards and memorabilia
relatively cheap tickets
great fans
family friendly
sabremetrics
physics of baseball
scorecards
stats
fantasy leagues
little leagues
park and rec leagues
minor leagues
major leagues
school teams
work teams
I don't know a great deal about the game so I'm missing a lot. But it's clear there's so much going into the game beyond athleticism.
Go Rockies World Series 2007
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